Fact #1: I found my 60+ pound full-grown definitely-knows-better golden retriever WALKING ON THE KITCHEN TABLE TODAY to clean up scraps from lunch. No lie. As if I had nothing better to do but chase the dog OFF of the kitchen table. Sheesh.

Fact #2: I just found a half-eaten baby carrot in the bottom of the washing machine. Now I'm not even that concerned about HOW a baby carrot landed in the washing machine. My big question is, was it already half-eaten? Or did it partially dissolve in the washing machine?

Fact #3: One little boy or another has peed on the hardwood THREE TIMES TODAY. And one of those times, a certain little boy then dipped a perfectly non-toxic dish towel into an UNFLUSHED toilet to try to clean up the pee-pee. Good WORD for the germs involved in that moment. I cleaned it up, but please, don't ever eat off of my floors. Seriously.

Fact #4: Silas discovered mud today. He also started saying, "ME?!" when he does something he is proud of, as in "Look at me!" SO. CUTE. Normally I am a proponent of little boys discovering mud (or anything else outdoors), but Silas owns exactly three pairs of pants. Wait, scratch that. He owns about 14 pairs of pants, but 3 of them are not too big, and one of them was coated in mud this afternoon. Praise Oxyclean, all is well now. And they were even rinsed with a little extra beta carotene. You know, just in case.

Good night.