The Internet is as wide and deep and horrifying and useful as the human imagination. There is room for everyone, and I have found my niche among other moms, often mothers who have had trouble conceiving or have lost children. That wasn't intentional, but that's what happened. One of the moms I have met is Adrienne, who is a real life friend of Mikkee's and of Jon and Mechelle's (in different contexts). I have been reading her blog since she started it in preparation for their first adoption. Last fall, in the months following the second miscarriage and first trimester of carrying Silas, Adrienne was a comfort to me. We even met in real life last winter, and I am certain if we lived in the same town we would be actual friends. All of this to say, thanks to the power of the Internet, Adrienne and her family are a part of my life. And today, Adrienne's life is upside down. I have spent the afternoon hitting refresh every few minutes, hoping for happier news. She asked us to pray, but all I could say was, "God. Please." If you are the praying type, please remember them tonight.
Also, someone I love was attacked this weekend. That's all I'll say, because it's not my story to tell, and it is certainly not my story to publish for the whole wide internet to read. But my life exists in a context; what happens to the people I love affects me. This is the hard part of keeping a blog, in my opinion - trying to write only about me (and my immediate family), even though life has other dimensions. It either makes for self-centered drivel or self-centered ranting, when not every blogger is completely self-centered. Of course there's a reason for it - my friends did not sign up to be discussed publicly - but tonight it leaves me with plenty of thoughts, and no where to put them.
So tonight I'm wide awake - aware of how much one friend has lost, and how much another has at stake.
Good night everyone.