Friday, July 11, 2008

and also with you.

Today is my 30th birthday and Silas' due date, and both of those facts merit some discussion, I think. But three weeks of interrupted sleep, preceded by nine months of interrupted sleep, have left me a little less chatty and a little more prone to growl and mutter the past few days. So we'll save it for another time. Today, a story. From me to you.

Our church hosts an event called a Swap a few times a year. The Swap is a garage sale without money; you bring what you don't need, take what you do. It's open to the larger community, and usually attracts a crowd. At the last Swap, Brian picked up a cell phone and charger to use for work, but never activated it. So when my cell phone was stolen a few days ago, we had another ready, thankfully. Yesterday afternoon, we charged it, turned it on - and discovered p*rn. Of the animated and homemade varieties, to be exact. Lots of it.

Now, I don't harbor any delusions that church members are less interested in p*rn than the wider world. Churches are for people who need a little grace, and I'm glad to be a part of one that expresses that. But, seriously? You didn't want to delete that stuff instead of donating it to the church? You weren't just a liiiitle concerned someone might recognize you? ( Not I've seen that end of anyone at church, but there were a few benign snapshots of smiling faces in the mix.)

All day this phrase has been running through my head - The Peace of God be with you. And also some p*rn.

10 comments:

Jamie said...

Well, Happy Birthday!

Laura Mielke said...

First of all Happy Happy Happy Birthday.
Second of all, Holy Crap, what the heck?

Nick M. said...

A very happy birthday indeed. Given your post topic I wouldn't be surprised if Brian decides to make you a b'day cake shaped in a manner that befits the story. Enjoy!

aubrey said...

HAPPY BIRRRRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOOO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR STEPHANIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! and many more! and hey wow! about your cell phone story! we definitely didn't think that donation to the church all the way through now did we???? geesh!

Jason said...

And here I thought the internet was just for porn !!!
Happy Birthday !!!

Cindy said...

Happy Birthday!!

By the way, I usually read your posts aloud to Mark who is working within earshot and today we laughed all the way through your post and then all the way through the hilarious comments from your friends, thanks for the laughs. :)

Anonymous said...

ROFL! Gah, I love you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday. I wish you a yer of sleep and free p*rn.

The Bean said...

The only thing that kept popping into my mind was the episode of Friends where Chandler and Joey discover free p*rn on the TV

Happy Birthday!

Missy said...

Oh crap. Sorry.

Can I, um, have my phone back for just a few minutes? Thanks.