I know what a blessing pregnancy and babies are. I know. But the time at the tone is 4:20 a.m., and this is the third night in a row I've been awake at this time, and I am lying on the couch (watching West Wing, of course) thinking about how badly I want my body back. Everyone talks about the transition to being a mom of two kids, and how I'm going to feel like everyone needs more from me than I can give. But I already feel that way. Silas is getting big enough that being pregnant takes most of my energy, and Asher is busy enough that he needs nearly-constant direction. He is just old enough to reach everything that's less than three feet tall, and just young enough to not follow directions. Isn't it possible that having both of my babies OUTSIDE of my body might be easier than what I'm doing right now? I know I will be busy, but I'm busy NOW, and I'll get to have my own person all to myself again.
Please don't hear me complaining. Well, I AM complaining, but please understand it's coming from a place of seeing 4:20 a.m. three nights in a row after chasing Asher all day. I am 30 weeks pregnant today, so Silas needs me a little longer, I know. But I am beginning to think two kids may be easier than one and a half.
Praise God Brian is off work tomorrow. I'll be more positive tomorrow.
5 comments:
Ahhh, how frustrating to not be able to sleep when you need it most! I'm sorry. Wish I could come spend a week with you to help out!!
I've been having trouble sleeping too but mine is not from a baby being to big in my belly. I don't know why I can't sleep. I'm not sure which is better. Not knowing why or knowing why and not being able to do anything about it for another 10 weeks. I'll pray for more restful nights for you!
Emily, mine is not from the baby being too big either. It's a hormonal thing - I've had it for months. He's actually much lower than Asher was, so I'm much more comfortable this time around. But if I ever wake up - and of course I'm waking up to pee by this point - I'm up for hours, sometimes for the day. It drives me nuts.
a little encouragement... I felt that having a (less than) two year old and newborn was easier than being pregnant with a toddler. Pregnancy is tough in so many ways, especially with the second. Hang in there!
as yes, but the benefit of not being able to sleep means that we can email chat in real time! maybe not much of a consolation, but it makes me pretty excited :)
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