So here's mine:
Me (picking up the telephone, pouring a latte and answering the drivethrough buzz, simultaneously):
On the other end: Uh, is Antowan there?
Me: I'm sorry, he's not. Can I help you with something?
Him: Uh, do YOU know how to make my drink?
Me: Are you the white mocha?
Me: You want a triple venti ten pump stirred white mocha with whipped cream and caramel drizzle on top.
Him: When are they supposed to stir it?
Me: Before the whipped cream.
Him: And that will get rid of the crappy taste?
Him: Ok. Thank you.
I KID YOU NOT.