Emmy is sick. Or teething. Or sick and teething. Who really ever knows with a baby, right? Her forehead's warm, she's not sleeping well, she wants to nurse all the time, she SCREECHES in protest if I even hint at putting her down. Like I said, she's something. Which means lately, if you've seen me, you've seen me like this:



(Probably wearing this outfit, even, because it's one of two from last summer that still fit. And since I'm not mentally prepared to accept the size I would have to buy in order to have new clothes, I'm just wearing the same two outfits over and over. To this I offer a resounding Meh. There are worse things.)

It occurred to me at five this morning, as I held a dozing baby who was just serious enough about nursing that I couldn't put her down, but not so serious that she was actually eating anything, that my worst nursing fear has been realized.

I have become a human pacifier.

No no no, friends. This is not acceptable.

It's not even that I'm opposed to being bothered in the moment - maybe the very best thing about having a third baby is that I'm already accustomed to being needed, so the needs of a baby are not the weight they once were. It's that I'm envisioning how this is all going to play out. In my experience, babies who have some way of soothing themselves - a thumb or paci - sleep better overall. At 10 or 15 or 23 months they can roll over, squirm, find their paci,and fall back asleep without needing comfort from a parent. Kids who don't have that spend hours awake in the middle of the night when they get older. To each his own when it comes to pacis, but me, I'm a believer. So. My quest is to find a pacifier that she might deem an acceptable substitute. She has already proclaimed her disdain for Nuk (which was Asher's favorite as a baby) and Mam. Google tells me a Soothie is best for nursing babies. Anyone want to weigh in?