My sleeping is very iffy these days.
I've had three(?) days in a row of sleeping like a newborn.
Normally I would have been exceptionally grumpy today - and found a reason to blame it on everyone around me, instead of accepting that I was the one with the problem.
Instead, this morning, I prayed against that. I love having children, I love being a mother. And not sleeping well is part of what it takes to make a baby, at least for me. I don't want to resent the blessing just because of my own discomfort, you know?
And God answered my prayer. Because today, even though I've been in a little bit of a haze, I have
- had a successful grocery store trip with Silas. And by "successful," I mean that he stayed in his seatbelt the entire hour and a half. That is a FIRST for him since he was 15 months old and figured out how to finagle his way through (there is no such thing as a Silas-proof seatbelt, just so you know). But today he held his cup, played with his little dump truck, and narrated his way - all from his little seat in the cart. And even with a child with me, I didn't blow the grocery budget. Hooray!
- made Jack-O-Lanterns with my kids, and saw Asher genuinely grossed out for maybe the first time ever. By the way, I won't be making fresh pumpkin scones ANYtime soon. How in the world would you turn that stringy mush into something edible? Who was the first person to open up a pumpkin and decide, hey, this looks like it would be good with some cinnamon and whipped cream? But carving pumpkins was still a lot of fun, though it is fair to say I carved pumpkins while Asher stared in dismay and Silas drop-kicked his pumpkin for an hour and a half. That is one sturdy little pumpkin.
- took Asher to a birthday party, and watched him work the crowd. I LOVE how the boy has no fear of anything, really. Preferences, to be sure (1-2 of his favorite friends is always more fun than a crowd to him, but isn't that true for most anybody?), but no fears. He walked right up to a teenaged-boy and said, "Excuse me sir! My name is Asher. Can I play football with you?" Love it.
- read the original Peter Rabbit to Asher, then drew pictures to iillustrate the stories. I love seeing his little mind develop - I love that he is old enough to read stories without pictures (for a few minutes, anyway), but still young enough to bring me a book and ask me to read it to him. I have high hopes for four-years-old.
- did not once fuss at Brian for being alive and in the same room while I am tired and tending to children. Seriously, what do I win for that?
It was a good day.
I should add that this is noteworthy because normally when I feel the way I do, I am NOT the kind of mother who carves pumpkins and illustrates stories and smiles at her husband. I am the kind of mother who growls at the drive-thru cashier before going home to turn on Nick Jr and wait for bedtime. Clearly God was at work today, and for once my family did not have to endure my fatigue. Thanks be to God.