Wednesday, October 06, 2010

A friend lost her brother suddenly on Sunday. He was 28.

Becoming a mother has changed the way I think about everything.

All week I have been looking around - at toys on the living room floor, sand box sand emptied from a shoe in the hallway, pudgy legs dangling past car seats, sippee cups abandoned on kitchen counters - and thinking, I'm not promised anything. The stage my life is in feels like the beginning of something - years stretching forward of battling nap times and birthday parties and reading stories in my lap and trips to the park. It feels as though this time is never going to end.

It is.

And maybe my children will grow up and grow old all around us, maybe I really will sit on a porch somewhere, some day, covered in grandchildren, saying, "no" and "stop that."

But maybe I won't.

Maybe the time I have with them now - maybe this is the only time I will ever have with them. Maybe these young years, full of the urgency of the immediate, maybe this is it. I'm not guaranteed anything.

That's what's been on my mind this week.


Kendra said...


I think that's all I have to say.


And thanks.

Thanks for the reminder.

Lisa said...

I think it's the Rule of St. Benedict...somewhere...that says, "Keep death daily before your eyes." Helps us focus on being truly present in our the people who are most important as well. Thanks for this thought-provoking post.

ljkgates said...

Your blog has reminded me that we MUST live each day to it's fullest.

Mrs. Shehane said...

William Blake said it best: To see the world in a grain of sand, and to see heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hands, and eternity in an hour.

This is how you enjoy your children's childhood. Treasuring each moment.

You have been given not only the gift of children (what grandchildren!), but the gift of enjoying each day of their phase, whatever that day brings. Love you. And I'm praying so for the family of the friend...-- Mamama

Valerie said...

Just wanted to acknowledge "covered in grandchildren saying no and stop that." :)

Stephanie said...

Thank you Valerie. I knew someone would pick up on it.