Wednesday, June 02, 2010

on second thought

My mom tells the story of going into labor with my younger sister, and feeling the first pain of labor and suddenly remembering what labor is like. "What did I DO?!" she said, mid-contraction. "I'm going to do this AGAIN?!"

I just had that moment. About 30 weeks early.

My friend had her baby tonight. Hooray for healthy babies! Hooray for no longer being pregnant! I'm so excited for her and her family. But hearing her voice just now, in the hospital, talking to her son Asher's age while waiting for her newborn to return from his first bath, I just realized I am going to do that again soon. Insert deep breath here.

I love being a mom, friends. Couldn't be happier. Love the chaos even (mostly) of having two boys very close in age. But for me, c-section recovery and sleep deprivation and round-the-clock feedings are a part of life to be endured, to get to the good part of raising actual interactive children. Newborns are so small and soft and snuggly - until they scream. Then throw up. Then scream again. Then scream at 1 a.m. when they just ate 45 minutes ago and all I want to do, for the love of all that is holy, is SLEEP.

I just signed up for all of that again.

And my boys? Well, we have crossed a threshold in my house this week. The thrill of entertaining their brother now outweighs whatever stern voice their mother may be using to try to get them to stop screaming/throwing/yelping/spinning in circles/ galloping/ jumping on the furniture. If it makes their brother laugh (and it alway does) it is SO WORTH the time-out. In short, my boys just figured out how to gang up on me.

Oh brother.

The idea of sleep deprivation, surgery recovery, and TWO boys transitioning to a new baby in the house - two boys now old enough to do some serious damage to physical property, should they set their minds to it - overwhelms me tonight. It's a good thing they are so stinking cute - Silas in nothing but a diaper leaning ALL the way into my chest this evening to brave the tractor tipping scene from Cars, and Asher telling me at the ice cream shop today, "Mom, if the baby is in your belly right now, then you're dumping ice cream on her. She's going to be cold." - if they weren't so ENDEARING, and if brand-new-baby days weren't so temporary, I would be in serious trouble.

Here we go again.


Rachel said...

we are all (and will be) here for you!

Lindsey said...

LOVE IT!!!! and we are all here for you! You have nothing to fear because the Lord is with you!

Danielle said...

So true! And with one quickly on the way, the thought of those sleep-deprived nights weighs heavily on me. I try to compensate by reminding myself what a precious blessing he is but somehow my love of sleep is much greater - or at least my body tells me it is! Good luck, you'll make it just like you did before (and then you'll look back and wonder how you did it - the part you can remember anyways).

steffj89 said...

here is some food for thought....our third boy is soooo much easier than our first two. He came home from the hospital sleeping longer than the middle one did at a year old, he is so laid back and devil may care nothing fazed him. We used to BEG him to wake up so we would know he was really ok. He ate on a schedule that was like clockwork and slept so hard that we really worried there was something wrong the first few weeks because our older two never let us sleep three hours in a row ever.
And the recovery from the repeat c sec was easier than the recovery from the first. The muscles have already been cut in having the first one, so you don;t have as much pain from that. I was walking around a few hours after the section*as soon as they would let me out of the bed* and came home less than 48 hours after. Came home Christmas eve and we had 30 people @ our house on Christmas day and it wasnt horrible at all.
Our older boys were so excited when we brought the baby home that most of the arguments/entertainment for the first few days was who got to hold the baby/feed the baby/look at the baby/love the baby the most.

When I was pregnant with Sawyer, T wanted to cuddle one night. He was laying with his head on my stomach, he was 4 @ the time. I think I was about 5 mos preg...after about 15 minutes he sat bolt upright and said MAMA your baby just kicked me in the head.

The third one makes for a fun wild ride. Enjoy every minute of it.

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

Here is my consolation: third babies are soooooooo easy. Really. Everyone says that. I think they know that nothin is comin anytime soon so they might as well chill. I never heard Maggie really cry until she was 5 months old, seriously - I called Walker at work to tell him, it was so weird. And she just - voila - slept through the night one night and that was that.

Then she turned two and turned into a hellion BUT the baby years were sweet and easy.

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

Oh - and Maggie's due date was Dec. 28. Or something like that. We induced on the 14th. Because I like my childbirth like I like my coffee creamer - unnatural.