Hey, want to know what doesn't help when you're burned out? Reading blogs about other moms' creative learning and parenting ideas. I know it SHOULD help, but instead it confirms that my poor children have been handed a pickle on a porkchop for a mother, and the only lasting good I can do for them is to open an account to fund their future therapy.
Something else that doesn't help is continuing to stare at the bare trees, willing them to bud. It also doesn't help to continue to sit in the same ragged blue chair indefinitely, staring at the walls, and hope something interesting will happen soon.
Coke Zero helped a little - especially because it was consumed across a booth from Brian, with a toddler CHARMING the server between us. Best moment of the night - best moment of the week - was watching Silas with that server. He was FAMISHED - having eaten all of the dinner I packed for him in the drive to the restaurant - and apparently Silas has figured out exactly what servers do, because every time she passed him (no lie, every single time) he would bellow, "PEA-NUT, PEANUT BUTTER, AND JELLY!" I'm pretty sure my son was attempting to order a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Hysterical. (Of course she had no idea what he was saying. My brother-in-law asked recently, "How do you know what he's saying?" My response: "I speak Silas.")
I also convinced Asher to brush his teeth this morning by offering him a lollipop when he was done (which really shows the depth of my despair, since I've only used food to get through our routine maybe three times, ever). It didn't occur to me until several hours later exactly how counterproductive that particular transaction was.
But the sun was out today. Brian is home for the weekend (yay and hooray). Tonight I found a cute shirt for $3.50. And tomorrow is mine - to wipe away the cobwebs, stretch my legs, blink at the sun, and order a meal I will eat all by myself. By the end of the weekend, Lord willing and the creek don't rise, I might even be human again.