Thursday, June 04, 2009

quiet

I'm a pretty open person (how ironic to make this statement on a public blog I have updated nearly daily for four years - clearly I am an open person), so I tend to assume everyone around me is, as well. Especially my children. When they are babies, it is impossible to untangle their lives from mine. Sharing my stories with you necessarily means I am sharing theirs. But every milestone in their lives is a step toward independence and having their own story to tell, or not . And Asher, it would seem, is not as open as me.

In our Week of Potty Training, I keep thinking that social reinforcement will reward him. "Do you want to talk to Mikkee and tell her you are a Big Boy?" or "Do you want to talk to Aunt Stephanie and tell her what you did?" as a reward for going potty have all been met with "NO MAMA." We were even in the store today and he said, in response to my asking - again - if he needed to go, "Stop talking about that!" It's really no surprise. He doesn't like too many people in a room, and he does NOT like to have an audience when he is disciplined. ("It's my time-out Bro! Stop looking at me!") It seems pretty clear that Asher is a more private person than I am, and - at this age, anyway - more quickly embarrassed. So it occurs to me that maybe he wouldn't appreciate me blogging about his potty training. That, as hard as it is for me to keep my mouth shut here about anything related to daily life with my kids, maybe he will actually be genuinely offended at my openness when he is old enough to read the archives (assuming he will ever want to). He honestly does not want to discuss anything potty-related with people he's close to - he doesn't want praise from grandmothers or aunts, and he's not even crazy about his dad accompanying him to the restroom. So I guess it's a pretty safe assumption he doesn't want to discuss it with stranger in the wide wide world, either. In fact - funny little kid - Asher has his own, specific rules for potty training. Today I offered a food reward (I was desperate to not have another mess at naptime, and he flat-out refused to wear a diaper to bed. REFUSED), and he said, "No. Marshmallows are only for when I'm brave (another story for another time). I go potty and you say 'Hooray,' Mama."

Okay, fine. Asher is potty training himself, so we'll play by his rules. I will say hooray to him, we will save marshmallows for when I REALLY need him to be brave, and I will do my best to keep quiet here about potty training. But if you want to know how it's going, call me during naptime. I'm sure there will be a new story to share.

2 comments:

Laura M. said...

i love it. "no mama, stop talking about that" is classic. did you feel dumb in that moment?

Lisa said...

That's so funny...he's such a little individual, telling you how it is!