in which i beg the internets for wisdom

I confess: I'm a procrastinator.

I didn't think I was. I was a moderate in school. Not completely type A, not completely a slacker - I might wait until three days before a paper is due, but one all-nighter in a computer lab as a freshman taught me that I do not function well under imminent deadlines. I was pretty good when I worked, too, about staying on top of things. I may wait until the end of the week to file paperwork, but it always got filed. So it comes as a little bit of a shock and disappointment in myself to realize that, given no deadline or threat of destruction or embarrassment, I SUCK at staying on top of things.

I will wait until there is not a single protein source left to serve my child before I go to the grocery store. I have plants waiting to be planted on the back porch. But the garden will first need to be weeded and fertilized - which is fine - but that means I need to go pick up more soil, and that involves loading the kids up and going to the DREADED supercenter, and since I don't want to do that I haven't yet planted the hydrangeas, which I DO want to do. I've even gotten bad at bills (Brian pays the real bills, praise Jesus, but I usually am responsible for opening the mail and such) - but these stupid little THREE DOLLAR bills from medical labs will show up from FOREVER ago and I'll look at it and think, what? Didn't I mail that in? I totally meant to mail that in. I have Christmas gifts that haven't been mailed, it takes me on average six months to send off thank-you notes. And in the meantime, I think about four times a day, seriously TOMORROW I'm going to the post office.

I'm not lazy, I'm not bored. I just ... don't do things in a timely manner. What it really boils down to is that I don't enjoy taking the kids on errands, so then I just DON'T, and that plan is turning out not to be quite as effective as I hoped. It turns out that if I ignore it, it doesn't simply resolve itself over time. Who knew.

What's wrong with me?

How do other at-home moms stay on top of errands and things? I don't think I'm necessarily wasting a lot of time, though I am emphatically NOT the most efficient person in any context. And I'm not great at forward thinking - I live much more in the moment. Which is all good, really. I enjoy my life this way. But there must be a balance between total slacker and total overplanner, right? Right?

I have had this recurring dream the past few years, where I'm back at Auburn and I'm unprepared. Most of the time I'm registered for a class I didn't know existed, but now I have to go take the final or I'm going to flunk it. Only I don't know where the class is located. Or I have been skipping class until the final exam, and now I don't know anything on the test. It makes me laugh because I never had these dreams in college. If mom-me had to go back to college, though, it is completely plausible that I would just FORGET I had registered for a class. Or think, man, I really meant to go to that class, but Silas got sleepy and Asher wanted to get out the play doh and I just never made it.

Help.