I cheated. I wrote several posts and scheduled them (like real bloggers do), so you guys think I've been around a lot more than I have lately. The truth is we had death crud followed by acute lack of sleeping, followed by Brian's traveling (which means I was winging it alone for a few days), followed by Elizabeth's visit, followed by continued lack of sleeping on Silas's part. Which is to say, I've been busy.

And now it's midnight (!) and in the best possible scenario, two children will need my attention in six and a half hours, and that really is being optimistic. It's just as likely that they will take turns needing me, starting in about two hours. Boo. So why am I blogging? Mostly to say hi. I've been thinking a lot lately about expectations, perceived and real, and finding satisfaction in caring for babies in a world that determines worth by productivity. I also just left an excellent Bible study about the transfiguration, and the idea of uniting with Christ in suffering and in glory. That Christ goes before us in suffering, so that we are never alone. Which is a funny thing to think about right now considering I'm really not suffering (unless you consider sleep deprivation suffering, and some mornings I do). But carrying that thought out means an awareness of suffering around us, and walking through it with those who are hurting, may be the most Christlike thing believers do. That's what stuck with me - pay attention. Glory and suffering, both, are everywhere.

Which seems appropriate today, on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, when I swear people are talking about it more than they usually do. Is it because it's the tail end of an election year? I really don't know. The whole conversation is sad to me, from any angle. Any scenario in which losing your child is the best possible outcome is desperate indeed. To be aware of that suffering - and to support women facing that scenario with whatever means I have - can be my only response.

That's what's rolling around in my head at 12:25 a.m. What's new with you?