Tuesday, June 17, 2008

birth plans, discipline, sleep deprivation, another gift,

and a partridge in a pear tree.

1. I don't have a written birth plan. Like Julie, they feel a little silly to me, because if I have learned anything in the past few years, it's how little of life we get to plan. Parties and field trips, that's about it. Everything else is outside of our control. Even so, I have learned a few things from the previous experience, and I know a little more about what I do and don't want this time around. I DO want to sleep at night, if at all humanly possible (isn't it ironic that in an institution created specifically for healing, it's almost impossible to get any sleep?). I DON'T want to bring home an exhausted and confused toddler, matched by his exhausted and overwhelmed parents, so I'm going to do my best not to be a baby and to let Brian and Asher have a normal night time routine at home while I'm in the hospital. I also DON'T want any more pain medication than I absolutely have to have. I'm a lightweight, my doctor says, and pain medicine messes with my head (so does anesthesia, but with a cesarean, that's unavoidable). I'd almost rather deal with the pain than deal with the side effects. That's it. That's all the plan I have.

2. Brian and I were up in the middle of the night talking last night, and it was so much fun. We were waiting out Asher, who is in the midst of a sleep THING that is potentially miserable for us all, and it wasn't fun trying to decide when to let him cry and when to go to him. But after he fell asleep we stayed awake for another hour, talking about nothing of any consequence. It's the kind of thing you do all the time when you're dating, and then never again once you get married. And in this season of our lives, when time to just hang out is rare, it was a gift to us both to have the time together.

3. Anyone been reading Arwen's posts lately on discipline? I think about her point all the time, how teaching and discipline only belong in the context of love. If I didn't love Asher so much, I couldn't possibly have the authority to discipline him. And when the goal of parenting is to build a relationship, not to control another person, the "how's" begin to answer themselves. I HATE spanking him, so I don't do it unless I earnestly believe that is what is best for him in that moment. In my opinion, this is a good argument against corporal punishment in education. Children have to learn to follow rules and to function in society, but who teaches them, and how, is profoundly important for their future. Also, I think of my role at this stage as one of a teacher more than an enforcer. With a few exceptions, he's mostly learning what the rules are. He's also learning to read (and to believe) me, just as I'm learning to read him.

4. For those who keep up with such things, Asher had his 18-month check-up today. He got the DPT and Hepatitis shots, and it was the first time he's understood what was going on, and it made us both very sad. "Bites!" he said when they injected him. Sad. He's in the 90th percentile for height, 75th for weight, and 95th for head circumference. My boy is almost 3 feet tall at 18 months old. Geez. Anyway, he's a perfectly healthy, developing kid, which is the part that matters.

5. T-21 days. I had an appointment yesterday, and a few things are happening that would suggest labor is imminent, but it's like my doctor says: all that really tells us is that I'm going to have a baby. There is not any way to know when. So I'm doing my best to function as though I'm having a baby in three weeks, so that I don't sit perched, waiting for labor, until I drive myself and everyone around me crazy. Besides, I still have a few loose ends to tie up around the house, and Brian is out of town tonight, so today is really not convenient for me. And Friday we're going to the lake, and next week Mikkee will be in town ... so July 8 is as good a time as any, I guess.

How has your week been?

1 comment:

Tonya said...

I can't believe how big Asher has gotten! He is so adorable. I agree that birth plans are a little silly. And if & when I have another child, I will also do things differently, like get sleep at night!