The most surprising aspect of being a mother is the intensity of my concentration for my children. I'm not obsessed, I'm not paranoid, I'm not (usually) fretful. I'm just focused. It starts sometime in the last trimester. I can feel it now, already, with Silas, as though sheer force of will could keep him safe and healthy. It's why you're hearing less and less from me these days, by blog, email, or phone. All of my energy has been turned inward, toward my little home, and the babies entrusted to my care.

And this week, it has been on Asher. He's sick, not wipe-your-nose-and-go-play sick, but when-is-dehydration-serious sick. Yesterday he stopped drinking, and went 8 hours with a basically dry diaper. Today he's eaten a little more, and I have bribed the boy with every sugary presweetened juice available to me. I put sweet tea in his sippee cup, for pete's sake. I've given him melon at every meal, and I think it must soothe his infected throat, because so far it has been the biggest success. Once again I'm surprised by the intensity of my concentration. My mom came by today and brought crossword puzzles, "to keep my mind sharp while I'm home with babies." If her intentions hadn't been so good, I may have been offended. There are no bonbons or soap operas here. My mind is still sharp as ever. Today, it was focused on hydration.

It's not the end of the world, Asher being sick. Tomorrow will be better, and by Monday he'll be back to normal. But for now, until he's chasing the dog and I'm changing leaky diapers again, I will not be able to think of much besides my sick baby.