Saturday, February 02, 2008

missing

Asher cut three teeth in ten days. That's the first thing I'd like to tell Granny, if I could.

The coat she bought for Asher's birthday fits just fine. The little blue fleece lining is cute, and he tolerates the hood surprisingly well. That would be next.

And how I made her cinnamon rolls for Christmas, and they turned out pretty well, all things considered. How Asher played in the laundry so that I could finish kneading the dough; that would make her laugh.

He still points to her picture and asks about her, in the way that he knows how. We still talk about how much Granny loves him.

She would want to hear all of our stories. She would laugh and tell me how Linda Joyce cut all of her teeth in six months, boy and how. She would put a wallet of Asher and his dad playing guitar on her night stand.

Oddly, I haven't grieved over Granny. I saw her nearly every week that we lived in the same area for the past ten years, and aside from a teary graveside service, I never cried. I just miss her. There are a dozen things I want to tell her and can't. And though our family is moving forward, someone is still missing from the dinner table. Today Granny has been on my mind.

6 comments:

Madame Rubies said...

Lauren Winner writes about this in Mudhouse Sabbath - in the chapter on mourning. It was very eye-opening for me.

Liz said...

its been just over a year since Mammo passed away. i still think all the time, "I should call and tell her..." or think about how much she would love to hear my stories from hong kong. and i havent really stopped crying since then. whenever i think about her, i get really teary eyed, and its always at inappropriate times (ie, at work, on the subway....) wanna trade some tears for some dry eyes?

wheelsonthebus said...

Which means, in a sense, she still is at the dinner table, no?

ljkgates said...

I never knew you could miss somebody so much.

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

My grandma died 26 years ago. Which seems like SO long ago, I am so shocked whenever I see that number. But whenever any of us talk about her, we all get teared up, still, we all miss her so much. She would have loved my babies SO much.

It dawned on once me how wonderful that is. How I hope that 26 years after I am gone, people will still miss me and tear up at the mention of my name. What an amazing legacy that is!!

PS - I don't like Patti Griffin much. Her voice grates me for some mysterious reason. Same with Shawn Colvin.

Mary said...

When I think of Granny, I think of the band, guitars, big family dinners of mexican casserole. It was good times. I can understand why you miss her.


PS (So, Mr. H goes "so, you want me to make stuffed flounder?"...HA)