Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Dear Mary and Lane,

Come back. We miss you.

I know you're busy; I don't care. Rant about the snow, the White Sox (Red Sox? Red Socks? See how lost I am without you?), Hillary Clinton ... I won't complain. I miss the serial posts and the long descriptions of the sexual dysfunctions of your pets. I miss the pictures of gourmet Thanksgivings and unfamiliar cities. But mostly, I miss you.

Seriously! You two have always been my Cool Friends. Without your omniscience, I've devolved into drivel over pacifiers, and you have become the Mythical Figures Formerly Known as Mary and Lane. You guys are the creative powerhouse (powerhi, Brian would say) around here. Haven't you seen how pathetic blogs have become lately? I desperately need a good argument. I'm so lost without you that I didn't even know there WAS a new Sandra McCracken CD. How am I ever going to know what good shows I'm missing? Plus, it's been like, MONTHS since I've read any good satire or book reviews. Can't you see how dire the circumstance really is?

C'mon, come back. Set up a password, and we will solemnly swear not to link you, even on your funniest or most profound days. We won't even REFER to your blog, if that's the way you want it. We'll just come up with a secret password to use when we want to respond. Something like this: "I ate chicken for dinner last night," can actually mean, "Mary wrote the most hysterical thing EVER on her blog go read it right now," and "I hear tomatoes are in season," can be understood as "I think you're a raving lunatic, and here's why." Or something.

Please come back. Without you, I have no one to disagree with.

Amen.

8 comments:

Lane said...

Did my mom pay you to say all this?

Stephanie said...

Yes. A large sum.

Emily said...

I 100% AGREE WITH STEPHANIE!!!!! Come back and visit!

Liz said...

We are starting a petition. Please do come back. Please? I feel less connected without you guys in our blog-o-sphere!

Nick M. said...

i am hereby signing said petition and will do so everyday if need be in order for some magic to happen. we need you...we ALL need you (both of you). Come on you know you wanna!

Heather said...

Hey! Whose blog are you calling pathetic? *snicker*

Yes, Mary and Lane, please do come back. I am sure you both KNEW One Night with the King was gonna suck and you weren't around to warn me.

Nick said...

i am hereby signing said petition and will do so everyday if need be in order for some magic to happen. we need you...we ALL need you (both of you). Come on you know you wanna!

Emily said...

i am hereby signing said petition and will do so everyday if need be in order for some magic to happen. we need you...we ALL need you (both of you). Come on you know you wanna!