What I Do and Don't Know

I finished A Million Little Pieces. This much I know: I am as convinced of the presence of demons as I am of the presence of God. This guy is writing the story of a man who is possessed. I don't recommend the book, really, but the perspective was enlightening.

I do know that Georgia is going to have a baby brother, and that is super exciting. We'll get to meet David Sawyer Arnold sometime in mid-July.

I don't know what we will do next. We loved the church in Florida (Hey Carrie, it exists!). The cost of living is outrageous, but the church is great. They have two other people flying in for a weekend interview. So who knows what will happen there.

At the same time, safer options may have presented themselves ...

I do know that I don't want to make the easy decision; I want to do what will cause me to need God most. Which is scary to say - that's saying that I want to have less control over my own life, and it is scary to relinquish control. Truthfully, it's hard to say which option would be safer. There are no easy decisions from here. It's all a risk, in one form or another. So, again, I don't know what we will do next.

And I don't know when any of this ends ... any of it, and that's hard, too. But God is good to me. David said, "My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." They're weighty words; if God is my portion, I'm not guaranteed anything else - not children or a home or security or money - and if God is my strength, then I'm no longer trying to make things happen by using my own abilities. But I say it with David. Though my heart and my flesh fail me, God is my strength and my portion forever. Lately, that's all I know.