Tuesday, February 21, 2006

What I Do and Don't Know

I finished A Million Little Pieces. This much I know: I am as convinced of the presence of demons as I am of the presence of God. This guy is writing the story of a man who is possessed. I don't recommend the book, really, but the perspective was enlightening.

I do know that Georgia is going to have a baby brother, and that is super exciting. We'll get to meet David Sawyer Arnold sometime in mid-July.

I don't know what we will do next. We loved the church in Florida (Hey Carrie, it exists!). The cost of living is outrageous, but the church is great. They have two other people flying in for a weekend interview. So who knows what will happen there.

At the same time, safer options may have presented themselves ...

I do know that I don't want to make the easy decision; I want to do what will cause me to need God most. Which is scary to say - that's saying that I want to have less control over my own life, and it is scary to relinquish control. Truthfully, it's hard to say which option would be safer. There are no easy decisions from here. It's all a risk, in one form or another. So, again, I don't know what we will do next.

And I don't know when any of this ends ... any of it, and that's hard, too. But God is good to me. David said, "My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." They're weighty words; if God is my portion, I'm not guaranteed anything else - not children or a home or security or money - and if God is my strength, then I'm no longer trying to make things happen by using my own abilities. But I say it with David. Though my heart and my flesh fail me, God is my strength and my portion forever. Lately, that's all I know.

19 comments:

Scooter said...

Is it fair to say that the book was a good Christmas gift? I mean, even if it is all a lie, is it good? Obviously, he lied, and, therefore, he loses credibility, but I've heard its a really good read. After I finish the book I'm still reading, and then I read Bondage Breakers that you let me borrow, and then I read Every Man's Battle(which I HIGHLY recommend for you and Brian; This book, and I know it sounds corney, but it's changing Davids life), then can I borrow it from you??

Scooter said...

Oh, Love you!!

Scooter said...

oh, dang. I posted on the wrong freakin one. Mentally transfer these comments to the below post, please.

Stephanie said...

(I can't read Every Man's Battle. See "Books" post for more info).

Madame Rubies said...

Steph, you could come here. Not that there is anything here except me, but the door is always open. You are always 100% welcome.

buf said...

YAY!!! You found it!!!! can we all move there together!? :)

They already know that it's a BOY!?!? Wow!! Yay for one of each! :)

looking forward to hearing about your trip!! CAB

Valerie said...

Yes, tell us all about it- and about safer options...

Incidentally, do you mean literally possessed by demons from hell?

Laurie said...

no...demons from jersey

Valerie said...

I have heard that Jersey is rough... but my question was really if she meant literal or figurative demons.

Nick M. said...

I don't know if "rough" is the word for demons. Haven't you ever watched the Sopranos? You could get one in the eye for saying something like that about the "Garden State".

Linda said...

It amazes me to see how much you have grown, to see how very spiritual you are. I love it that you and Brian are willing to give up anything and to go anywhere to serve our awesome God, however he wants you to serve him. So many of us would have to think long and hard before we could do that. We seem to get too comfortable with our lives as they are. You know that we would love for you to live right here, in Montgomery, close to us, however, I have such a peace about wherever you go, because I know that you are doing exactly what God would have you to do. How very blessed we are that you are our children.
Love you.

Stephanie said...

I've never been to Jersey, and I've never seen the Sopranos (I know that must be shocking) ... I meant actual literal demons ...

Madame Rubies said...

According ot one of those spiritual gifts thingies, Miracles/Exorcism is my second ranked gift.

Random fact.

buf said...

well, good luck finding out all the things you don't know...it usually takes longer than a lifetime, eh?
I'd like to read the Frey book now...hmmm.
Yay for Stephanie! Congratulations to her, woohoo! (janet)

Mary said...

Heather..did you see the Exorcism of Emily Rose? That was suppose to be a true story. After seeing that movie, I think I'd probably re-gift that spiritual gift.

Scooter said...

You felt sick? I mean in the 1st chapter of the book? Why? Just curious. We had been on the divorce line for a while, until david read that book. I promise, he really seems changed. Time will tell, I guess.

Valerie said...

I just saw the Exorcism of Emily Rose this past week, which is what prompted me to ask Stephanie about the whole demon thing. I'd definitely be re-gifting that...

Stephanie said...

I haven't seen The Exorcism of Emily Rose. What did you think?

Madame Rubies said...

I don't watch demon movies. Never seen the Exorcist or the Emily Rose one. I quit watching Days of our Lives for a while when Marlena was posessed (I don't watch it now, either but not b/c of demons). Since I was a little girl, I had nightmares about demons and named them my biggest fear. I meditated on the stories in the Bible when Jesus drove them out. I avoided them at all cost. An old mentor of mine once told me she felt those nightmares were satan trying to scare me away from spiritual warfare, that God was probably calling me to it. So, I can't say those test results were terribly surprising.

But re-gifting was certainly a consideration. ;)

I have, on the other hand, read and loved the Darkness books (Peretti). My faith in the authority given by Christ is growing. Carrie just gave me a boot title I want to look for and I want to read Bondage Breaker. Not sure if I am ready to watch Emily Rose, but Corey will be happy if I choose to.

When I got that on my test, the leader said, "Never knew a Methodist Exorcist."

I have a desire (not the right word) for intercessory prayer, when I am not being a complete bum, spiritually, so I wonder if that is part of it too. When I have gotten off my butt, so to speak, and taken prayer seriously, I have seen things happen.