Tuesday, February 21, 2006

What I Do and Don't Know

I finished A Million Little Pieces. This much I know: I am as convinced of the presence of demons as I am of the presence of God. This guy is writing the story of a man who is possessed. I don't recommend the book, really, but the perspective was enlightening.

I do know that Georgia is going to have a baby brother, and that is super exciting. We'll get to meet David Sawyer Arnold sometime in mid-July.

I don't know what we will do next. We loved the church in Florida (Hey Carrie, it exists!). The cost of living is outrageous, but the church is great. They have two other people flying in for a weekend interview. So who knows what will happen there.

At the same time, safer options may have presented themselves ...

I do know that I don't want to make the easy decision; I want to do what will cause me to need God most. Which is scary to say - that's saying that I want to have less control over my own life, and it is scary to relinquish control. Truthfully, it's hard to say which option would be safer. There are no easy decisions from here. It's all a risk, in one form or another. So, again, I don't know what we will do next.

And I don't know when any of this ends ... any of it, and that's hard, too. But God is good to me. David said, "My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." They're weighty words; if God is my portion, I'm not guaranteed anything else - not children or a home or security or money - and if God is my strength, then I'm no longer trying to make things happen by using my own abilities. But I say it with David. Though my heart and my flesh fail me, God is my strength and my portion forever. Lately, that's all I know.

8 comments:

Stephanie said...

(I can't read Every Man's Battle. See "Books" post for more info).

buf said...

YAY!!! You found it!!!! can we all move there together!? :)

They already know that it's a BOY!?!? Wow!! Yay for one of each! :)

looking forward to hearing about your trip!! CAB

Unknown said...

Yes, tell us all about it- and about safer options...

Incidentally, do you mean literally possessed by demons from hell?

Unknown said...

I have heard that Jersey is rough... but my question was really if she meant literal or figurative demons.

Stephanie said...

I've never been to Jersey, and I've never seen the Sopranos (I know that must be shocking) ... I meant actual literal demons ...

buf said...

well, good luck finding out all the things you don't know...it usually takes longer than a lifetime, eh?
I'd like to read the Frey book now...hmmm.
Yay for Stephanie! Congratulations to her, woohoo! (janet)

Unknown said...

I just saw the Exorcism of Emily Rose this past week, which is what prompted me to ask Stephanie about the whole demon thing. I'd definitely be re-gifting that...

Stephanie said...

I haven't seen The Exorcism of Emily Rose. What did you think?