I'm not going to spend my time here telling you about the experience, but if you're interested, www.thejourney.org. It was beautiful.
But I don't want to talk about that tonight. Instead, I want to read to you a little.
"As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, 'I will follow you wherever you go.'
Jesus replied, 'Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.'
He said to another man, 'Follow me.'
But the man replied, 'Lord, first let me go and bury my father.'
Jesus said to him, 'Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.'
Still another said, 'I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family.'
Jesus replied, 'No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.'"
(Luke 9)
It's been a stressful week for us. What I wanted to do is trust God, but what I've done instead is worry. So I confess to you that I haven't lived out my faith very well. I haven't trusted God to take care of me. And the result has been pretty bad; you can't choose a life of faith and then become faithless - the translation is that you have chosen a life of STRESS.
Jesus says here that you can't make your choices and then look back. You're not fit for the work ahead of you if you do. I can't keep living out this calling and wondering how my life would have been if I'd chosen a less risky path. We know that God has led us toward a radical (radical is more PC than weird, but you can call me weird, too, if you'd like) way of life. And we have accepted the calling. So I can't start looking back now - I'll turn into a pillar of salt, the plow lines will be crooked, and in general I won't have any focus in my life. What did I say a few weeks ago? It's time to either piss or get off the potty? Well, we did. Every choice is the sacrifice of another possibility. That's always true in life. If I start questioning that now, both possibilities are lost, and I have nothing at all.
There is a Psalm that I hear in my head anytime our future looks bleak: "I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread." (Psalm 37:25) The Psalmist is right. I have never seen faithful people forsaken by God. Regardless of how bad their circumstances got, I've never seen them left alone.
So, if you love me and you think I'm crazy, then just pray for me. But don't tell me how crazy I am - I can't take it right now. If you don't have any opinion at all, or if you think this is a good idea, please pray for me, too. It will only be through the patience and power of God that we can live out our choices.
4 comments:
"I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes
And I certainly haven't been spreading myself around
I still only travel by foot and by foot it's a slow climb
But I'm good at being uncomfortable so I can't stop changing all the time...
If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it I'm an extraordinary machine"
-Extraordinary Machine; Fiona Apple
Mary, did you know that there's a new Fiona Apple CD?!
Hey Valerie, I've never heard this song but I like the lyrics alot.
Heather, occasionally I say other words too, but it doesn't happen very often. Actually, I'm most likely to start cursing if I've been around Valerie a lot ... =) Brian doesn't like it when I talk like that, so I try to make sure I mean it if I say it.
First, for all interested parties, I LOVE, love, love the first and last songs on the new Fiona Apple CD, and I think the rest are growing on me. I really didn't like it the first few times I heard it, but it's getting better.
Second, I don't know what it means that you curse more when I'm around, but it can't be good...
"Every choice is the sacrifice of another possibility." I love this line Stephanie - I have written it on my prayer board. It is so true. You are not crazy - you are obedient and faithful, and it may be hard, but keep trusting, God is leading. I love you Steph and am praying for you and Brian!
And as for cursing, well, we all know I have a really hard time actually saying those words. For the longest time, people at work tried to catch me or trick me into cussing - but they eventually gave up. When I stub my toe, the first word that comes to mind is "Ow!" Not anything with a #$*! in it! =)
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