Sunday, January 31, 2010

it's just been that kind of weekend.

Does everyone remember the scene from Finding Nemo where the aquarium fish are trying to make their tank as dirty as possible? And they say, "Jacque, refrain from cleaning!" and the little crab stands at attention and says, "I will resist," nobly. That's me.

I feel as though I'm swimming in my own filth this evening. It was just that kind of weekend - cold and gray, perfect for watching movies or reading books. But small children? Not so interested in lounging on the couch all day. Desperate to stop the whining and screeching, we finally loaded up mid-afternoon and went to Lowe's (as an aside, Silas kept hearing Asher call it Woe's, with his little 3-year-old articulation, and kept playing their "Whoah" game - which consists of pretending to teeter and fall while crying 'WHOAH!' and giggling - every time Asher said it. It was HYS-TER-I-CAL). It was Brian's call to randomly go into the hardware supercenter, and it was perfect - free entertainment that killed at least half of the witching hour. Lines of riding lawnmowers, aisles of ceiling fans, rows of really for real tools ... if you're a little boy, it doesn't get any better than that.

Sundays are full on their own, so now, here we are, Sunday evening - and the dishes and laundry will sit exactly where they are until tomorrow morning. Sunday nights are not meant for cleaning house. Sunday nights are for blogging, like so.

In honor of -

I've read a few articles lately on ways to save money at the grocery store. We're not talking .25 coupons, friends - you can cut your grocery bill in half if you are obsessed enough to make it happen. But after my most recent adventure this evening, I've written a little article of my own. From me to you.

How to Waste the Most Money at the Grocery Store

In this economy, everyone is looking for ways to do their part and contribute to the greater good. Giving more of your paycheck to your local grocery store helps boost their bottom line, putting more cash into the hands of their employees, and is ultimately good for all of us. But how can you avoid the pitfalls of shopping with so many sales and hidden price cuts? Here are four easy ways to make sure we are all contributing to the livelihood of the farmers and sales clerks who keep our families fed.

1. The more, the merrier. If you have a small child, it is imperative that he joins you in the grocery store. If you have eight children, all the better. Not only is Grocery Time a prime opportunity to impart the values of good nutrition and basic math skills to your offspring, but children also provide the much-needed distraction you will need to spend a little more on your trip.

2. The later, the better. Studies have proven that people think more clearly in the morning. In order to give the economy the boost it so desperately needs, it is best for you to shop late in the day. And if you can swing the dinner time hour, when your blood sugar has plummeted and your children are exhausted, you will be able to give the most to our economy. You may sacrifice a little of your sanity along the way, but what you lose in mental stability your city will gain in economic momentum.

3. Compact is best. Some grocery stores offer double carts to curtail the spirits of little ones, but allowing them to roam freely encourages their curiosity and virtually guarantees that you will buy a few items you hadn't intended to purchase. It's a win-win for grocers and small children both. And you will be pleasantly surprised with your unexpected goodies once you unload your groceries at home.

4. What list? Lists are intended to maximize efficiency, but remember, your goal is to spend freely. A list will stifle your creativity and, ultimately, slow down your spending.

Giving to the economy takes effort and commitment, but with the help of small children and poor planning, it is possible. Remember, the more you spend now, the happier you'll be later.

Think of the farmers.

Good night all.


Brian and Ella said...

hilarious! i love it!!! and so true!

Lisa said...

I've often thought that my grocery bill is too high when the toddler is in the cart. I think it's because I'm in such a hurry to get out of the store that I put whatever looks good into the cart without thinking of whether we need it or not.

Anonymous said...

LOL....well today I did my part. I spent nearly two hours and the better part of 200$ @ wal mart and I seriously don't think we came home with a DARN thing I was hunting for. I know that for sure I didnt get the Dimetapp I needed for the baby, or the batteries to quell the post blizzard but still out of school warring factions screeching because their Wii wont work....(I know BAAAAD Mom)
of course perhaps if I hadn't had SOOOOO much help going thru the grocery aisles, I might have remembered.