Wednesday, January 27, 2010

big and not so

A Big Thing: I love my life. Even though in this moment I'm sleep deprived and listening to the baby on the other side of this wall alternate between whomping his feet against the foot of his bed and wailing, "MAAAAAMAAAAA!" I love my life.

What a blessing.

Speaking of, a Not So Big Thing: Silas can tell you he is a blessing. And friend, there is nothing in the big blue world cuter than a little boy with strawberry curls in his eyes grinning up at you, arms outstretched, and proclaiming, "BLESSING!" Be still my heart.

A Big Thing: I'm getting a new computer today. A fancy Mac laptop. My first laptop. My first Mac. It's kind of a big deal. It was a gift to me from my dad, and I have the best dad in the world, not because he's buying me a computer, but because he's the kind of father who always wants to share anything good he has with his children. I love him for that. I'm also a little excited about the computer.

A Not So Big Thing: (Well, it's big enough to me) - when the Fancy Mac Laptop (I'm totally naming her Fancy now) gets here, we will retire the desktop for good. Anybody know a good place to donate a perfectly functioning eight year old Dell? There's not a thing in the world wrong with it. Any charities or organizations need a computer? Anyway, the exciting thing about retiring the desktop is that the little mass of writhing black cords that has been living in the corner of my bedroom for the past few years will be gone. How WEIRD am I that I am every bit as excited about having less clutter as I am about owning a Fancy Mac laptop? That, in fact, the only reason I really WANTED Fancy in the first place was to clean out the clutter in my bedroom?

A Big Thing to Me, but Not You, Probably: We are so so so close to having a house free of CRAP. I have been back and forth and back again to Good Will since the New Year began, but now - once the laptop is here, and we finish up our room - we are about to have no crap in closets, no crap in the corners of bedrooms, no crap stacked on the far wall of the dining room. Not a completely clutter-free home, but a home that is much more comfortable to me. Yay and hooray for us.

A Not So Big Thing: Asher, on Monday: "Mama, is tomorrow the day you go to other kids' homes and show them how to walk and talk? Because I already know how to walk and talk?" Me: "No, honey, that's Wednesday." The next time I need someone to explain the purpose of Early Intervention, I'm going to ask Asher.

A Big Enough Thing: Silas isn't sleeping well. AGAIN. No nap yesterday, up for two hours last night, no nap today. Do you know why? Because I don't, and I'm open to suggestions. It's funny how sleep always seems so urgent in the moment. No matter how many times I see the pendulum swing back into good sleep routines, no matter how many times I'm reminded that sleep issues are always always temporary (because their actual sleep patterns really are good), every time it comes up again it feels urgent. Sleep! Now! Baby! That's how I feel. The flogging will continue until morale improves.

But, a Big Thing: Even when he's not sleeping, he's still a blessing. And I still love my life.

One last Not So Big Thing: Even though I was up half the night with Silas, even though I had eleven children in my house yesterday morning (which was SO SO fun but just as exhausting) followed by cleaning up after eleven children followed by company for dinner, and even though my allergies have been sapping my energy the past day or two, I still went to work out this morning. I tell you this because I was so proud of myself for doing it when I didn't feel like it. Ninety percent of life is just showing up, right?

Happy Wednesday all. I hope your babies are napping better than mine. And, seriously, if you know of any local organization in need of a computer, let me know.


Brian and Ella said...

thank you, thank you for yesterday...for allowing my 4 boys to be part of those 11 children...with one less mommy. I so appreciate you!! and I had no idea you were having people over for dinner that night, too!! Wonder Woman!! :)

i hope Silas sleeps better tonight...I wish I had advice with the waking up thing. Jake's been doing it lately, too, but I really think it's his teeth. A new top tooth popped through today, so I'm going to see if he sleeps better tonight.

I hope you enjoy your "fancy" mac laptop. My dad has been a mac fan for years now and kept trying to convert us. Brian finally got one last year and doesn't know how he ever survived before owning a mac. I can't wait to join the cult someday!

I am grateful for you, sweet friend!

Kendra said...

I can't wait to meet Fancy =)

Valerie said...

"Here's your one chance, Fancy, don't let me down."

Stephanie said...

Valerie, that's totally the line I've been singing all day.

Lisa said...

I don't know of any organizations in your area, but we donated our last computer to a local homeless shelter. A friend of ours volunteers there (tech support) and he used it as some sort of mainframe system. I don't know...but he can always find an organization who needs a computer. So ask a tech guy...maybe someone from church. They would be your best bet.

Colin's Mom said...

"Sleep seems so urgent at the time..." I couldn't agree more! It's funny how the littlest thing can throw them off their routine and get them out of sync. They are such creatures of habit, that's for sure. I hope he's back on track now. And I know what you mean about SLEEP.NOW.PLEASE!