Tuesday, May 05, 2009

fears

My biggest fear in life (I begin, with exactly eight minutes before I have to hit "publish" and relinquish the computer) ... not in life, that's too broad. My biggest fear in parenting is not piercings or defiance. It's not long hair (or short hair) or flunking out. My biggest fear is that I will raise a preacher's kid.

A kid who knows all about church and the Bible but has never encountered God. Who sees religion as a list of rules, and understands nothing about the character - the fire and compassion - of Jesus. A kid who walks out of Baccalaureate and never sets foot in a worship service again. That's what I'm afraid of.

Who knows what my kids will be like, right? They are still babies, mostly. I try not to read too much into the moment. Defiance is natural, autonomy is good, and strong wills serve us well in life, even if they strain our mothers' patience. But if I raise children dull to the Holy Spirit, indifferent to suffering, lacking love for his neighbor - I will have failed both God and my children.

That's what's on my mind today.

4 comments:

wheelsonthebus said...

why did this post make me think of footloose?

Kendra said...

heavy.

Lane said...

Isn't it the preacher's kids who usually sell black tar heroin in high school and grow up with the burning desire to be tattoo artists?

I always felt like a failure in that regard.

Lisa said...

Deep. But if your children learn of God not just through words, but also by watching how you relate to others, I don't think you'll have to worry.