a numbered list that turned out to all be on the same topic. go figure.

There's a lot cooking in my head, but nothing ready for consumption yet. I'll probably sit down in a week or two and write six substantial posts in a row. But for now, still processing. So how about a list? And since I prefer numbers over bullets, how about a numbered list?

1. I took Silas to the pediatrician for the fourth time in three weeks today. Another set of ear infections, another round of antibiotics, another allergy prescription to try. Poor little guy. But we went alone, and he enjoyed the time with me. He's so talkative, when given the chance. I'm pretty sure he's calling Brian and I both now (well, I'm Na-Na, but I'll take it. I'm not picky). We also now have a referral to see an allergist, which will be helpful (I hope). Silas will see the son of my former pediatric allergist. Silas, honey, you inherited your father's stature and boisterous nature, and your mother's allergies. You're welcome.

2. Had a tiny meltdown of my own last night. It's hard to know that so much of the time, responding to one child's needs means ignoring the other's. Asher has had so much unstructured time lately as his brother has needed my attention, and I hate it. Just as Silas would benefit so much from having more time where I was engaging him, and not just taking care of immediate needs ... but I am finite. Unfortunately.

3. But - most children have a sibling and experience the good and the bad that goes along with that. It becomes a part of who we are, but it doesn't harm us, usually. The truth is that it's good for them both to learn to be part of a whole. But as a parent I can't help but want to avoid every negative experience for them. Even though that's not even what's best for them all the time, I still want only good things to happen all the time. Unreasonable and impossible, but still ...

4. I have enjoyed reflecting on Holy Week this year, but I have absolutely no substantial thoughts to offer about it. Though I will say I think Lane has cursed me a little, because every time I hear the phrase Holy Week I think, "Holy crap it's Holy Week!" and grin. Thanks Lane.

5. We had a great time at a friend's house this morning, dying Easter eggs and generally absorbing the chaos of a multitude of toddlers in a backyard. I love it, though - I love that chaos, as long as there is space for them to roam about, looking for what they can devour. Dying eggs with toddlers is a contact sport, in case you were wondering. But very fun (Silas, meanwhile, ate his body weight in Cheerios. What would I do without blessedly soy-free Cheerios?). I was really glad to have something fun to do with Asher that I didn't have to plan or prepare (see #2).

6. I didn't get the kids Easter outfits this year - last year Asher had this cute little seersucker outfit, but something about Silas in seersucker makes me laugh. He's so not the seersucker type. I'm sure that's my perception changing more than anything, but this year he's wearing a striped polo-style outfit, and Asher is wearing a plaid shirt and shorts. I'll let them be the boys that they are.

7. Silas, before bed, had - Benadryl, Zantac, antibiotic, Motrin. That's SO MUCH MEDICINE. It is way more than I would ever take. I hate it. I hope we can get the allergies under control, so that the antibiotic, Benadryl, and Motrin (for pain from his ears and fever from the infection) aren't necessary. Boo for medicating babies. But thank you Lord the medications exist to help them ...
Good night all.