I'm really bad at planned mush.

Spontaneous mush comes pretty easily - look at that beautiful boy! did you hear what he just said? how did he know that? who taught you how to be so cute? - I do it all the time. But to say, at 4:00 today you will say nice things about people you love - I get ... self-conscious.

So I've put off bragging about my kids, only for that reason. To do so on demand seems false. Instead, I'm going to tell you what I know about them so far.

Asher - is curious. Creative. Fearless, even, in most ways. His language and imagination surprise me every day, and in most ways, he is a gentle soul (pummeling his brother notwithstanding). He is happiest when he is outside, and happiest of all in the backyard, where there are very few rules. He loves to act out whatever Diego did that day, or to make up stories of his own. He is also really observant - today I wore a shirt that's been in the closet for a while, and he said, "Mama you beautiful! That's a new brown shirt?" In a word, Asher is sweet-natured and (usually) calm.

Silas - is, so far, the opposite of his brother in almost every way. He is social, bold, playful. They both love music, but where music calms Asher, it excites Silas. I couldn't sing to him as an infant because he would keep himself awake in order to hear the song. Lately, any music at all - a commercial jingle, a mechanical tune from a toy, or - his favorite - his dad's voice - and Silas will stop whatever he's doing and start bouncing in rhythm. It is the cutest thing ever. He is such a social (and also curious) baby. He wants to be part of whatever is going on, and is most offended when brushed off (i.e., stepped over). In a word, Silas is determined and social.

And I love them both for it. There is nothing better than watching Silas dance as Brian sings, or watching Asher stomp around in the backyard, saying, "Come here little birdies! It's okay!" Lately I've been thinking a lot about losing yourself to your children, and the different ways mothers respond. Someone asked recently, "Is this all that's on your mind now, allergies and naptime? And are you really happy with that?" Well, yeah. And yeah. But not always and only. Being a stay at home mom is in many ways just like a job. If you call at 10 am, naptime and allergies are about all I've got. But if we have coffee on Friday night, I can put it down. I am not wholly defined by my children, but they also are not a cross to bear or a burden to overcome.

Oh this is a whole other post. More on that later.

That's it guys. In the two years (and nine months) I've had with them, that's what I know so far of my kids.