I. am. ridiculous.

Sunday I was tearing up every time I picked up Silas, thinking of how tired I was of being needed, and how much I was surely screwing up my kid by being so tired of being needed. Monday night my neighbor gave me such a sweet compliment, when she said, basically, "You're too healthy to be acting like this." Thank you for that - you were right.

And today? Nothing but blue skies and rainbows over here. I've had three nights of sleep in a row, followed by (wait for it) two NAPTIMES IN A ROW. That's a first in, seriously, I don't even know how long. That's all it took? A few nights sleep, and a few hours of quiet? That's all I needed to become mentally stable again? Well, that wasn't quite all. I also remembered something very important. I remembered that I, too, was a difficult infant. I had colic (which was the 70's word for reflux) and allergies that were difficult to control. I didn't sleep through the night until I was four years old. And my mom was 22 and going through a divorce - there's a good chance that year was not the best for my mom, either. And my mom and I are perfectly fine - our relationship was not characterized by colic. In fact, the reason I forgot that is that she never mentions it, and the reason that she never mentions it is that she never wanted me to feel unloved or unwanted because of it. The apple doesn't fall far, friends.

So. Realizing Silas won't remember this plus consecutive nights of sleep plus consecutive days of naptime plus one 70* sunshiney day plus hearing Silas laugh every day this week for the first time ever equals one happy mom.

The real question is - why, on Sunday, can't I ever remember that by Friday it will be over? That everything cycles back around? That January never lasts forever?

I am ridiculous.

But glad. Blue skies ... nothing but blue skies ....