bourgeois - updated with bonus tackiness

I like to think of myself a certain way. We all do this, right? Classify, compare, contrast. It's how we make sense of the world. I like to imagine myself as a nature lover, as a good mother, as healthy (physically and otherwise). I like to think I'm not, for example, someone who screams at her kids in the grocery store at midnight. You get the picture.

But the last five years of my life have done nothing if not humble me, and lately I have become aware of the corporate, mass-produced, processed parts of my life. I have also had to admit how much I enjoy them. So here they are, in no particular order - my ode to mediocrity.

1. Velveeta. My dad brought some over a few weeks ago to make dip, and left most of the box in the fridge. I love it. LOVE it. A little goes a long way, but it's perfect in tomato soup or scrambled eggs. And every time I eat it, Lake J folks, I picture that guy singing, "Cheetah is Velveeeta" and doing a Calypso dance. Yes, it is a processed cheese food product, and it's nutritive value is minimal. But it melts so much better than regular cheese. And at least it's the lower fat kind - it's not quite as terrible for me as it could be. Still, it reminds me a little of a chemistry experiment. Solid to liquid to vapor. But it's so good.

2. Cartoons. It is so not cool to let your kids watch cartoons right now. Something about promoting consumerism and ADHD. To that I say - whatever. My child is engaged every day in developmentally appropriate activities. He plays independently, he plays with other children, he plays with adults. He plays outside, he uses pretend play (constantly all the time everywhere always), he runs and jumps and sings. And he watches cartoons. Probably if he was my only child, I could have held to the current ideal of no (or very limited) t.v., but there are moments when I need 15 minutes of stillness to rock a baby, or make lunch. When I do, Diego is there to help, and for that I am thankful. Though I will admit I am creating a little consumer.
Please don't judge me.
(I will also say that I am still incredibly picky about what is on the television when he's watching, because he is very much aware of it, whether it's "his" show or not. And the t.v. still gets turned off for hours at a time, so that counts for something, right?)

3. My house is beginning to look like it was bought out by the dollar store. I know some of you put limits on the kind of gifts people give your children. I do not. Thankfully our family normally asks for our input, and honors our requests. But while I don't buy toys for my children very often, I don't say "no" to gifts or hand-me-downs very often either. The result? Seriously. Put a sign in my yard, and you're ready for business. Lately it's getting to me, though, and I've started throwing/giving/putting away anything that is not played with frequently. I'm also working on turning Asher's closet into a supply closet (any of you former teachers remember supply closets? Don't you wish children came equipped with them?) for things like art supplies and puzzles that are used, but don't necessarily need to be accessible all the time. That will help a great deal with the clutter, I think. Still. Good grief.

What about you? What tacky things do you love?

Wait - I forgot one. And this one may be the worst of all.

4. I don't love Macs.

I know. It seals the deal that I am not a cool kid. But I really don't. My little desktop PC is as reliable as the seasons, folks. It's six years old, it handles pictures well, it always lets me online, it has Word. That is all I need from a computer. I don't like the way Macs handle pictures, and I am forever having to ask how to do this or that. And I've had access to a Mac laptop for years, and I'm not stupid about computers (though often not interested enough to learn about them), so if they are THAT easy to use, why do I still have to ask all the time? I never have to ask about the less-cool desktop. That's all. Now, seriously. What tacky things do you love?