Sunday, January 18, 2009

bourgeois - updated with bonus tackiness

I like to think of myself a certain way. We all do this, right? Classify, compare, contrast. It's how we make sense of the world. I like to imagine myself as a nature lover, as a good mother, as healthy (physically and otherwise). I like to think I'm not, for example, someone who screams at her kids in the grocery store at midnight. You get the picture.

But the last five years of my life have done nothing if not humble me, and lately I have become aware of the corporate, mass-produced, processed parts of my life. I have also had to admit how much I enjoy them. So here they are, in no particular order - my ode to mediocrity.

1. Velveeta. My dad brought some over a few weeks ago to make dip, and left most of the box in the fridge. I love it. LOVE it. A little goes a long way, but it's perfect in tomato soup or scrambled eggs. And every time I eat it, Lake J folks, I picture that guy singing, "Cheetah is Velveeeta" and doing a Calypso dance. Yes, it is a processed cheese food product, and it's nutritive value is minimal. But it melts so much better than regular cheese. And at least it's the lower fat kind - it's not quite as terrible for me as it could be. Still, it reminds me a little of a chemistry experiment. Solid to liquid to vapor. But it's so good.

2. Cartoons. It is so not cool to let your kids watch cartoons right now. Something about promoting consumerism and ADHD. To that I say - whatever. My child is engaged every day in developmentally appropriate activities. He plays independently, he plays with other children, he plays with adults. He plays outside, he uses pretend play (constantly all the time everywhere always), he runs and jumps and sings. And he watches cartoons. Probably if he was my only child, I could have held to the current ideal of no (or very limited) t.v., but there are moments when I need 15 minutes of stillness to rock a baby, or make lunch. When I do, Diego is there to help, and for that I am thankful. Though I will admit I am creating a little consumer.
Please don't judge me.
(I will also say that I am still incredibly picky about what is on the television when he's watching, because he is very much aware of it, whether it's "his" show or not. And the t.v. still gets turned off for hours at a time, so that counts for something, right?)

3. My house is beginning to look like it was bought out by the dollar store. I know some of you put limits on the kind of gifts people give your children. I do not. Thankfully our family normally asks for our input, and honors our requests. But while I don't buy toys for my children very often, I don't say "no" to gifts or hand-me-downs very often either. The result? Seriously. Put a sign in my yard, and you're ready for business. Lately it's getting to me, though, and I've started throwing/giving/putting away anything that is not played with frequently. I'm also working on turning Asher's closet into a supply closet (any of you former teachers remember supply closets? Don't you wish children came equipped with them?) for things like art supplies and puzzles that are used, but don't necessarily need to be accessible all the time. That will help a great deal with the clutter, I think. Still. Good grief.

What about you? What tacky things do you love?

Wait - I forgot one. And this one may be the worst of all.

4. I don't love Macs.

I know. It seals the deal that I am not a cool kid. But I really don't. My little desktop PC is as reliable as the seasons, folks. It's six years old, it handles pictures well, it always lets me online, it has Word. That is all I need from a computer. I don't like the way Macs handle pictures, and I am forever having to ask how to do this or that. And I've had access to a Mac laptop for years, and I'm not stupid about computers (though often not interested enough to learn about them), so if they are THAT easy to use, why do I still have to ask all the time? I never have to ask about the less-cool desktop. That's all. Now, seriously. What tacky things do you love?


Nick M. said...

Wow, until that last update I thought you and I were really starting to have a good solid bond in all things tacky. And then THAT happened. I am almost inconsolable. I think I should lay down for a bit until I realize that I am not nearly as cool as I think I am ;-)

Also my word scramble for this comment was: fable

Lane said...

I don't take #4 personally. Mary might. I think the reason you have to ask is maybe because you haven't committed to fully using a Mac. The best way to learn is to have to do something several times and then you know. When I had to start using PC's again at my work after only using Mac's for several years, I had to constantly ask my co-workers how to do certain things. But after having to use them again for a while, I relearned.

But like I said, I don't take it personally.

And I think the tacky things I most love are science fiction/fantasy and video games. I try not to let me life be defined by those things, but sometimes I just want to read something about space alien worlds and the brave men and women who venture into unknown galaxies and worlds to conquer and defend the goodness of a fading world.

And when I really just want something totally brainless, there's nothing better than video games. Maybe they rot my brain and make me socially impaired, but sometimes I really don't care.

Laura M. said...

Excellent post.. eXcElLeNt. TyPInG LiKe ThIs iS TaCkY! ILl TYpE My TaCkY PoST SoOn.

mary said...

Lane, Why would I take #4 personally? To each his own seriously.

I don't want anyone telling ME the best computer to use. I had to use a brand new PC for my job in Dothan and I was ready to take my eyes out with a rusty ice pick rather than use that thing. I don't think its about tacky or cool...just a preference. Although, iPhoto is one of my favorite Mac features... but I don't even remember how P.C.'s "handle" pictures so maybe I'm the one in the dark :-)

Also, the Chetah thing from Lake J made me laugh out loud. I forgot ALL ABOUT that.

Tackiest thing I love....The Real Housewives of Atlanta. (AND that one goes for Lane too!). We love us some Nene.

Stephanie said...

Okay, but Lane, it's like when people say it's an acquired taste. If I have to WORK to like something, why bother? Why not just stick with what I already like?

Valerie said...

I don't love macs either. I am actually kind of ambivalent. We have in our house a macbook, two dell laptops (mine and Mr ND's work laptop) and an Asus eee PC). I know how to use them all, but I do not have a preference among them- they're all good for different things (I lean slightly in preference toward the eee PC, but mostly because it has the most up-to-date software, and is really portable, but its terrible for writing papers because it's so small). I also have a BlackBerry instead of an iPhone, which makes me a bit of a social pariah amongst our friends. I know you're all secretly judging me, but I don't care.

As for tacky things, I watch some pretty silly TV shows, Gossip Girl and the like. I also love Battlestar Galactica, which is SciFi at its most hardcore, complete with its own slang and profanity- say what you will about that.

Finally, my word scramble is mekeyeds, which sounds like some sort of indecipherable thing that Asher would say about Mikkee.

mary said...

I would just like to point out with the newest technology the PC v. Mac debate is no longer a useful or interesting one because a PC can only just be a PC but Macs post 2006 can be either a Mac or or run windows and be EXACTLY like a PC.. you can choose at start up.

Anyway, just saying...its kind of a silly discussion when newer Macs can be BOTH so everybody wins.

I also love Gossip Girl and I've never used a blackberry so I can't judge and I don't think anyone else is judging either.

Lane said...

I've never seen Battlestar Gallactica, though it's something I've always meant to watch.

I guess it's not that you have to "work" to use something, it's just that you have to relearn certain tasks in order to use it. If you consider that work and don't want to do that, than certainly stay with what you know. There's nothing wrong, per se, with PC's. In a way I've started to enjoy some things on my work PC's. For the kind of work I do (mostly spreadsheets and things like that), it's great and probably more functional to work on than my Mac laptop.

But, for certain things, like working with Photoshop, editing movies (which I had to do at Covenant), or recording music, I would NEVER use a PC. There's a big difference in the workflow for things like that.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say, is that if you're not involved in that kind of work on a regular basis, you're certainly allowed to use whatever platform suits you best. The real debate, I think, comes in with certain tasks.

Also, I think debating Mac's vs. PC's in the comments of a blog is also tacky.

Stephanie said...

I agree that it depends on what you are doing. Editing movies or recording music probably wouldn't do as well on my PC. The reason that I like the PC is that it's very easy to organize pictures, and that's most of what I need a computer to do (aside from the normal music/internet stuff that every computer does now).

leslie said...

love it! I have to admit... as much as I love to read (and I wish I could say it was all quality, literary works) my something tacky is the easy to read murder, suspense, or romance novels. Shameful, I know! LOL

Madame Rubies said...

I am working on my tackiness post. Trying to think of what tacky things I love, b/c I KNOW they exist. Hee hee.

Jeff, Carrie, Kara Beth, and Kaylan said...

as far as the promoting consumerism goes...KB has never in her LIFE seen a DAY of Dora the Explorer. Yet, she is now the proud owner and constant wearer of some Dora jammies and undies. She wanted these, not because of consumerism, but becuase of peer pressure. Her beloved buddy Nora LOVES Dora. Therefore, KB loves Dora. So, the diego jammies would have found you...either via consumerism or peer pressure.

And little K already can say princess and has some disney princess jammies that she does the excited shakes when we pull them out of her drawer. All because of big sis.

some things are inevitable. I'm going to say that annoying disney characters that are EVERYWHERE are one of those things.

(as an aside...KB also knows who hannah montana is because she is EVERYWHERE and KB thinks she is pretty. She is constantly asking for Hannah MOntana stuff and I am getting dirty looks in stores because evidently I allow a THREE year old to watch Hannah Montana)