Tuesday, November 25, 2008

abridged

Want to hear about my life right now?

Silas is allergic to everything. Every food so far, except sweet potatoes and cereal, so we have backed way off and are going to introduce foods much more slowly. You can try two new foods a week, but I'm thinking more like one every few weeks, so that his body has time to completely recover if he has a reaction.

We're on day two of Asher taking a nap without a pacifier. Both days he has fallen asleep, though it has taken him about two hours both times. That's okay. My expectations were low - I was assuming he would not sleep at all, so some sleep is better than no sleep. Also, he is not wailing the entire two hours - mostly he's playing in his bed - so it's been more pleasant than I expected. My goal is to throw away the paci on his birthday, and I really think we'll be able to do that without a battle. The battle is happening now. He still gets it at bedtime (thank you Jamie for the great advice on weaning), so we're still sleeping at night, which gives me more patience at naptime. Nobody takes a paci to their wedding day, so eventually we were going to have to do this. I've chosen to do it now.

Lately I've been thinking about working at home versus working at a job, and how much I miss one when I'm doing the other. My time at home with babies isn't over, but because so many of my friends are going back to work right now (and really enjoying it), it has been on my mind.

Also, birth control. Where's Mary? I can't have a conversation about birth control without Mary. Several of my friends are Catholic and use natural family planning, so the birth control conversation keeps coming up. We had Silas based on natural family planning (and obviously out of God's sovereignty, but God's sovereignty and my inability to predict my cycle shook hands somewhere along the way). And while I recognize birth control as only my vote, not the final say-so, at this moment I need the perceived certainty it provides. So I have been on birth control pills, but have switched kinds (starting today) for a number of reasons I won't list here. In general, in this part of my life I need to hear from God. I don't feel any real peace or clarity about any of it, and I need some. I am not ambivalent about using contraception, I'm just not settled on what direction our family is going. I don't know how to describe it better. Maybe that's too much information for someone from high school who googles me to know, but there it is all the same.

Desperately need to go to the grocery store, by the way. As in, there are no more protein sources left in my house, and the only fruit that remains is frozen or dried.

That's it. My life, abridged. I keep thinking I'm going to write about real things, but the real things on my mind are more personal than philosophical - staying home and birthing babies is about as personal as it gets for a woman of child-bearing age - and it seems I just couldn't move forward until I said them. So maybe now that I've said them all at once, I can talk about something more interesting.

4 comments:

aubrey said...

I saw an episode of Super Nanny where getting rid of a paci was a huge problem (the kid was 4 I think and had one in EVERY corner of the house)... Super Nanny told the child this very touching story of needy children who didn't have pacies of their very own. They devised a plan to share this child's pacies with those poor kids. It worked like a charm! They collected them and put them in a huge manilla envelope and "mailed" them away. The kid never looked back! Asher may be a little young for heart strings and the ability to pull at them but it was a sweet idea that worked! OR my mom poked a hole in my brother's paci when he was little... it deflated when he sucked on it and he thought it was broken and threw it away on his own... HAppy Paci Weaning!

Madame Rubies said...

Mary is a requirement for Birth Control convos. Hee hee. Dunno if I have ever been with her and NOT discussed BC. I hated trying to figure out which BC was best for our family, in any, pre-David. Like you, I didn't have any clear direction. I had my opinions and desires, but no peace. Then, David came and I got to quit thinking about it. I am praying God will give you His peace in this area. (((HUGS)))

Elizabeth said...

You may know from my blog that I'm an NFP user/teacher. For me, it has been useful in identifying/treating infertility, although there seem to be too many obstacles stacked in our way to actually clear them all and get pregnant. It has, amazingly, helped me come to terms with that though as we embrace adoption.

I have taught dozens of couples with abundant fertility who have used the method successfully to avoid pregnancy. It may have been that your method wasn't working for you, but for most couples, ours is amazingly clear-cut. Not all, mind you. Some people just have to work harder to figure out their cycles. It definitely requires a leap of faith for many.

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

If you are ready to wimp out, we have learned to wait for a holiday to take away the paci. Like, you could say Santa is going to take away his pacis and leave him some toys. Then talk about it all month and it doesn't seem to be as big of a deal when it happens.