Friday, July 25, 2008

this is me, gnashing my teeth.


Two things of dire importance that must be addressed immediately:

1. We found the secret to getting Silas to sleep: put him on his belly. He sleeps like, I don't know what, but someone who is sleeping REALLY WELL on his belly. That's why he sleeps so well on me, apparently. But he likes no equipment. None. No swing, sling, bouncy, swaddler, carseat, or bassinet has any soothing effect whatsoever. This is why he's waking up every freaking hour at night. He's not hungry so much as he can't get comfortable on his back. All I can think about is the Back to Sleep campaign, and this blog that disturbed me so much Georgia's Mom and Brian both told me I needed to stop reading it. I'll put him on his belly during the day, when he's on the couch (with nothing around his face) so that I can make sure he LIVES through his nap, for pete's sake. But what am I supposed to do at night? Seriously, I'm asking. Please tell me. It appears Silas' sleep and mine have an inverse relationship. That really has to change. Soon. Because -

2. I have decided screaming will be the hill that I will die on in parenting. There will be no more screaming in my house. I don't care if I do nothing else in life, Asher is going to learn how to stop screaming. If he was playing, I could teach a different (more appropriate) behavior. But he screams specifically because he knows it bothers me. Ooohh no. This morning we were half an hour late for play group, and he spent a solid chunk of his time there in time-out. If you scream, you do not get to play. The end and amen. This is the first time I've ever had to watch my temper with Asher. Other things were difficult to handle, but they didn't make me M-A-D like screaming does. Sleep deprivation is no doubt a contributing factor. So, seriously, Silas needs to sleep (at least during the times when he should be asleep - I'm not saying he has to drop a feeding, I'm just asking him to stay asleep in between them. And I'm asking YOU how to get him to do that), and Asher needs to stop screaming. Or their mama might lose her mind.

Bill Cosby says God made babies cute so you don't kill 'em.


Valerie said...

He's sleeping in that picture. I don't see the problem. :)

Seriously, though, I have nothing of substance to offer here, except that my biggest fear about ever becoming a parent is screaming. I am really sure I would not be able to handle it. I feel your pain.

Nick M. said...

We put ours out in the car until they quit. ;-)

wheelsonthebus said...

A deep, dark secret that many parents have is that they let their babies sleep on their bellies because they won't sleep on their backs. I have never done it, but I wouldn't judge you if you did.

That said, have you tried a Back to Sleep positioner? The angle and the comfort may help. It helped with both of my boys. Babies like their bellies because it helps with any gassy issues, and a positioner will help with that, too.

Brian said...

Hey Valerie, if it makes you feel any better you have way more tolerance for your own kids than anyone else's.

Emily, we used a positioner with Asher, too. Silas doen't like being on his side.

Brian said...

That was from Stephanie, not Brian.

Elizabeth said...

Oh, I've been there! Olivia was very gassy and preferred her stomach for sleeping too, but we were so afraid to do it at night. However, I have a friend who has a new baby with Downs, and I guess she's at higher risk or at least they are more concerned about her and SIDS. They got this crib sensor that is REALLY sensitive and senses any little motion (breathing, etc). If there is no motion or very little for 10 seconds, it sounds an alarm so you can go check on your baby. You might try this...for peace of mind. I'm not sure what it is, but I found this online, and it sounds similar.

LMilky said...

Oui. I think we might be running into the same problem with the girls. They get to sleep fine but start "stirring about an hour before feeding time when we are in the "just 50 more minutes PLEASE mode... so we have done what we said we wouldn't...put them in the bed with us. If one or both of them are snuggled up next to me with a pacifier they are quiet but in the same position in their pack n play they scream. So maybe this is just what comes with new baby territory. We have found though that the Boppy Loungers (boppy with the hole sewn in) works well for tummy arches upward and you can position them on their tummies with little to no risk... just disregard the tag that says "Not for sleeping/NO DORMIR) :-}

Adrienne and Jim said...

Hi, Stephanie,

My friend's little girl did the exact same thing Asher is doing with screaming, and it drove her nuts! She ended up putting her in a corner for time out b/c other time out situations weren't working!! It worked for her like a charm, and now... no screaming (unless she is playing outside which she taught her was an okay place to scream).

As for baby Silas, have you thought about getting the monitor that beeps when the baby doesn't move for a certain period of time? My friend Rachel's little boy wouldn't sleep either and cried all the time b/c he was uncomfortable so they got this ("Angel"???) monitoring system for his crib mattress so they could also sleep without worrying about him :)

Big hugs to you!!!

amanda said...


Call me! THIS EXACT SAME THING happened with Daniel and a wise nurse friend (you know her...the one who works in the NICU at the children's hospital in Bham) told me to put him on his stomach...I said are you kidding and she said it. and i did. and he slept. and after a while I did it at night...and I didn't know about the angel make a noise thing, so i did it without it...and since I have come out of the closet on this, I have heard many other moms coming out and saying they did the same thing. I was just glad I had a NICU nurse telling me to do it so I didn't feel guilty...and you shouldn't either. It might take you a few times of him sleeping on his stomach for naps before you get brave enough to do it at night...but when you get tired enough, you will do it. :)

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

When Ike was in the NICU, they slept him on his tummy. They slept them all on their tummies.

Now, they were also hooked up to a million monitors, but still. They obviously had no problem with tummy sleeping.

I used something in the actual crib - email me, I will send you the link.