Monday, July 07, 2008

suring up my nomination for Mother of the Year - updated with illustrations

The following things actually happened this weekend:

1. I had Silas in my arms and was talking to Brian. His little arm flailed (as infants are wont to do) at the same moment as I opened my mouth, and I BIT my baby's finger. Hard. And then I laughed while he screamed.

2. I woke up at 2:30 to feed him. I changed his diaper, made a bottle, picked him up ... and fell asleep. I don't mean I dozed off, I mean I woke up an hour and a half later, realized I was holding both a baby and a bottle, and put the bottle in his mouth. In my defense, he never complained. At least, I never heard him complain. It is possible I was so comatose that he cried and I didn't hear him, I guess. Surely not.

3. Asher had goldfish and cake for dinner on the 4th. A first for him.

4. Yesterday morning I heard myself saying, "Do not put goldfish on your feet." (It was a moment where I thought - the things you never expect to say in a day). At which point, my child PICKED CRACKER FROM BETWEEN HIS TOES and ate it. And I did not stop him.

5. While I fed Silas this morning, Asher did this:

That would be his clothes hamper on his head. Which begs the question, where are his dirty clothes? (Because they certainly aren't clean.) All over his floor. Of course.

All in all, though, life is good. We're learning the art of Baby Juggling, which is an extreme sport, and should not be attempted by those who have heart conditions or are prone to dizziness. It involves such activities as keeping one from injuring himself while nourishing another, bouncing one while reading to another, and phrases such as "feet on the floor" while searching for pacifiers. And just when you think Round One is over, there is invariably a poopy diaper waiting to be found.

Happy Monday, everyone.


Carrie said...

what a great post!!! There are a MILLION things I thought "I'll never do ___________" until I had Kaylan and now I don't even think a THING of any of them. Often, I find them completely NORMAL now, and surprise myself when I remember that I thought I would never do it.

Silas is beautiful and I'm so glad I got to hold him and see you!!!

Adrienne and Jim said...

I laughed out loud, Stephanie. The things that come out of your mouth that you never imagined you would say. I'm so glad Silas is such a laid back little guy! I loved the picture of him on the couch----he IS so tiny!!!

Julie Pippert said...

Good for you juggling.

The now-fired-because-she-let-a chest of drawers-fall-on-my-3-year-old babysitter managed to futz opening a box of macaroni (one of many futzs) and it sprayed all over the kitchen.

The kids started to pick it up, popping or or two in their mouths and she LOST IT.

(Yes, I can hear everything in my home office, I'm afraid.)

You can't eat off the floor! (I'm like, huh, it's not that dirty!)

You can't eat raw macaroni! (I'm like, wha...? Where's that a rule?)

She tossed the whole package and I'm thinking she's the one who ought to have been yelled at LOL. Wasteful!

Anyway clearly we are not too picky around here LOL.

GL juggling!

Valerie said...

At least he's vacuuming while he wears the hamper.

Why is it that every time I see a picture or video of Asher he's vacuuming?

Stephanie said...

Valerie, the kid loves to vacuuum. I really don't know why. We had a vacuum party last week (when Brian fixed ours and used it for the first time in about 10 days), and Asher is still talking about it. He'll clap his hands and say "Yay! Vacuum!" Also, vacuum is pronounced ga-goom-a. Just so you get the full effect.

brian gates said...

val-because my boy is freakin' awesome! you think that's cool you ought to see him dance. i laughed at loud at work when i saw that picture. i hate it was my first day back at work.

Nick M. said...

I too laughed out loud at work. The kid really does rock the casbah!

LMilky said...

MY FAVORITE POST EVER!!! Like everyone else said I promise you I loud out loud when I scrolled down and saw Asher. HILARIOUS. love the whole thing.

Elizabeth said...

This is why I am confident that God only gives multiples to the extremely gifted. There is a reason we typically get one baby at a time. It give us a chance to hone up our skilz, grow a few more arms, and learn to function in a permanent state of sleepwalking before throwing another baby in the mix. Never a dull moment, I'm sure!

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

LOVE this. Welcome to the world of more than one kid. My, how the priorities change and "pick your battles" takes on a whole new meaning.

I like you even better already ;)