Hump Day Hmm - in and out of stride

Toby: "Are you really comfortable walking around with a name like Elsie Snuffin?"

Elsie: "I've never been comfortable, but I'm not sure it's because of my name."

- from The West Wing

I read something that caught my attention on Adrienne's blog a few weeks ago: one sign of a child having a healthy attachment is if he smiles at his reflection or picture. Isn't that interesting? Even as babies, if we know we are loved, we can look in a mirror and like what we see. It reminds me of Donald Miller's Searching for God Knows What, which talks, in part, about how we all need someone outside of ourselves to tell us who we are. Who we believe determines who we become.

The question of the day is what it means to walk out of stride. But it seems only a partial question to me. Walk out of stride with whom? About what? Most of it is relative, isn't it? I'm more liberal than one, more conservative than another. I'm more structured than some parents, more relaxed than others. My house is cleaner than this friend's, dirtier than that one's. Is that what lines us up? Are we "in stride" only when we are alike? Maybe. Then how much does it matter if I'm out of stride with someone else? Does that define our relationship? Only if they are my measuring stick. Only if I'm giving them the authority to tell me who I am.

There really is nothing more comforting than finding someone who is like-minded. The best compliment I have ever heard was given by a friend who had just fallen in love with her now-husband. "He just ... gets me." It's what we all want. When I find friends who get me, with whom I am naturally in stride in all the ways that really matter (which have nothing to do with housekeeping or politics), I usually hold on pretty tight. In this season of life, we seem to have found that. But even when I have it, it doesn't define me. It defines my experience, in many ways, and certainly affects my comfort. But being out of stride with a group is mostly a reflection of context. It doesn't make either of us wrong; it just makes me different.

On my best days, I can believe who God says I am. In my most rational moments, I can trust His voice above any other. I choose to believe Him, to give Him the authority to tell me who I am. When my emotions cooperate with that decision, it's a good day. But even when they don't, I've made my choice. Finding friends who agree with me - that's just icing on the cake.