things I never thought I'd say

1. (Me, pointing my finger at the dog whose head is hung low, using my most threatening, I'm-really-serious voice as he stakes his claim on the nearest plastic toy): "Drop ... that ... pig."

2. (Georgia's Mom, speaking to her children, while I am on hold on the phone): "No, honey, Brother doesn't want a tail. Make a tail for yourself if you want one."

What's the strangest thing you've said today?

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On a related note, Things I Never Thought I'd Do:

I realized last week that a serving size for my prenatal vitamins is two caplets, not one. For three years and four pregnancies I've been taking exactly half of what I needed every day. And here is an odd thing about my personality: I don't accept every rule as Irrevocable Fact, but once I do accept something is true, it is very VERY difficult for me to will myself to work against it. For example - when Asher's nurse told me to give him yogurt at 8 months, instead of waiting until he was 9 months old to start dairy, I had to talk myself into it. I felt as though I was POISONING my child by breaking the No Dairy Before 9 Months Rule. How ridiculous am I? Quite. But in all the nights I've stumbled off the couch and into the bathroom to brush my teeth and take my prenatal vitamin, I have always been very careful about not accidentally taking it twice in a day. I always wake up just enough to be sure I hadn't already brushed my teeth and taken the vitamin and then somehow forgotten about it. Because overdosing on iron can kill people, not to mention what it could do to a pregnancy, and this is a Fact. Last night, when I intentionally took two pills for the first time, I half expected to be rushed to the emergency room for iron poisoning. I swallowed both pills and waited (for what?). Nothing happened.