I started to think today, what if this is it? What if I only have one baby, and that baby is about to turn one year old? Of all of the variations of my life I have conjured in my head, that was never one of them. Until today, it had never occurred to me that I might have an only child. And I know someone will tell me not to worry, of COURSE I'll have more children, but that is naive. I don't know that and neither do you. Most of you don't know this, but Asher is here because someone prayed for us to have a baby. (I am positive she would prefer to remain nameless, since I am posting her business on my public blog) At the time, she was not in the habit of praying, but she prayed for a week for us to be pregnant. Asher was conceived that week. More and more I appreciate how supernatural his conception and survival were. He is a miracle of the New Testament variety.
And tonight I thank God for him. Because tonight I am aware of how unpredictable our future is. So please excuse me if I don't rush Asher out of the baby phase - if I rock him after he's asleep, or let him keep his bottle an extra month (seriously WHAT is the big deal? When did a bottle become so detrimental to a 13-month-old baby?), if I seem ambivalent about first steps and first words. I really love having a baby. And I know it can't last forever, but he can stay a baby a little longer.
4 comments:
IF you only have one child...what a stinkin perfect one you have gotten. And IF you only have one child at least you're friends with someone who can remind you that BEING an only child ain't all that bad. PEACE to you and your family however big it may be.
First of all, the French kids in our neighborhood have bottles well past their third birthdays. It is a cultural thing to say they should stop sooner. It does not affect ortho -- that's about the tongue thrust. And, if you brush the teeth afterwards, it does not promote tooth decay. (If anyone thinks I am being defensive b/c my kids still have bottles, you are wrong. My kids never took bottles. They hated them and went straight from boob to cup, so there.)
Second, I think we rush kids way too much. I am brewing a post about this at some point. WAY too much. They have decades to be grownups. Let them be babies.
Third, you may have one child. But he will not be ONLY one child. ONLY implies he is less than satisfying, and I know that is not the case. If you cannot bear another child and you choose not to adopt another, you are a mother and a family just the same. And he is quite a cutie, btw.
So, just who ARE these people that are telling (or implying) that you should mother one way over another? Cause you just let your faithful readers at 'em and we'll take care of everything!! :)
Asher IS a present day miracle in every way!! and i agree with stephanie - IF you only have one child, you got the miracle baby - and if your family never gets any larger, your life is still so very blessed!!! love you!!
Emily, I agree that we push kids way too much. Nowhere is that more evident than in a preschool. I spent a morning in a preschool classroom a few weeks ago (with the little boy that I teach). Another student cried all morning - I kept thinking, he's THREE YEARS OLD and he wants his mom. How is this a problem? I don't understand why we're in such a big hurry for kids to grow up. I feel the same way about academic toys - why does every single toy need to say the alphabet and label colors and count to ten? They will learn all of those skills in time - what's the big deal?
Part of what happens with Asher is that he is so tall, people expect more of him than they should. They keep expecting him to communicate more and to repeat words. Dude, he's less than a year old. Pointing and babbling is exactly what he should be doing.
Anyway, I could rant forever about this. But I agree - we expect entirely too much out of our babies.
Stephanie and Elizabeth - thank you for the encouragement.
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