Friday, December 08, 2006

Usually, this happens first:

It's too soon to worry about this, of course, but that's never stopped me before - what if he doesn't come before Christmas? He has TWO Christmas outfits, and THREE Christmas stockings, waiting on him. The stockings will keep until next year, but the outfits, well, next year he probably won't be wearing a newborn size. Not to mention - HOW MUCH LONGER AM I GOING TO BE PREGNANT? I'm really not miserable and sick of being pregnant. I was more miserable earlier in the pregnancy, and there was no end in sight. But I have been pregnant for thirty eight weeks now - isn't that long enough? I want to see what he looks like. I also want to regain the ability to breathe and eat, to stop being bewildered by my body. Being pregnant has been fine, but isn't it time to move on? I'm tired of talking about how painful labor is and how my life is going to change. Let's stop talking about it and do this already. Do you hear that, baby? Let's get on with this, already.

And - AND - if he waits until after the New Year, I will have to pay cobra to keep insurance through January, as well as new deductibles for the new year, totaling THREE deductibles that I will have paid for ONE pregnancy, which sounds impossible but is exactly what will happen if this baby doesn't come soon. Yikes.

That's one trail that my addled brain wanders down every few hours. Here's the other:

By the end of this month, a baby will live in my house. A BABY. In the next few weeks, I'm going to be completely responsible for a human life. And before that happens, I'm going to go into labor, and it's going to hurt. There's no way to get around that. No matter what happens afterwards - even though I am planning on an epidural, and even if I had to have a c-section (which is a scenario that exists only in my mind. There is absolutely no medical reason for me to be concerned about a c-section) - no matter what else happens, first, I'm going to go into labor, and it's going to hurt. And if he doesn't come soon, they're going to want to enduce (and I'm going to want them to, probably), and then it will hurt even more. Does he have enough warm clothes/ bottles/ burp cloths/ sheets? How would I know? And the little outfits with footies - are those seriously ALL supposed to be pajamas? Some of them are elaborately decorated and have collars and everything - how many little boys really sleep in collared outfits past six months old? I'm totally using them as real outfits. For my baby. When he gets here, which will be soon. Yikes.

Is everybody out there praying for me? Because you really should be. It's like The Three Faces of Eve around here.

4 comments:

Liz said...

I would say take a deep breath, but I know that can be difficult. Yes, we are ALL praying for you, and for Brian, and for Asher, and for Taylor, and for YOU. Steph, he will be here soon, and it is going to be awesome! I have a hint that you have way more than enough clothes/burp cloths/bottles/toys/etc. If not, Walmart is not that far away. I have been praying for you every day. The little tag we made at the baby shower is still hanging on my mirror. AND, if you want to dress your baby in Christmas clothes after Christmas, that is absolutly OKAY! I love you and I love your baby that is so close to being here!! :)

Heather said...

No, they are not all PJs. Or, they are ALL PJs, every outfit, footies or no. It is according to how you look at it. Footie outfits are perfectlya cceptable out-of-the-house clothing for babies. They are THE best b/c socks do NOT stay on baby feet. However, babies sleep so much, that ANY outfit you put on him will be his PJs.

I am praying for you... and super excited.

mary said...

I also think Christmas outfits are perfectly appropriate until March at least! I was 2 weeks old at christmas and a GIRL and my parents dressed me in hideous santa clause outfits and they loved it. I also think i got wrapped up like a present?
We are all praying for you and can't wait to meet Asher. And it sounds like it will definitely not be as bad as you think. (my sister swears that she just felt a little pressure?)
By the time we see you, Asher will be here probably and we can't wait!
I know it's scary though. We are thinking of you guys! Keep us posted.

Lane said...

Just for your info, I have at least three collared outfits that I wear to bed in alternating schedules depending on the phases of the moon. Totally normal and acceptable, I think.