Usually, this happens first:
It's too soon to worry about this, of course, but that's never stopped me before - what if he doesn't come before Christmas? He has TWO Christmas outfits, and THREE Christmas stockings, waiting on him. The stockings will keep until next year, but the outfits, well, next year he probably won't be wearing a newborn size. Not to mention - HOW MUCH LONGER AM I GOING TO BE PREGNANT? I'm really not miserable and sick of being pregnant. I was more miserable earlier in the pregnancy, and there was no end in sight. But I have been pregnant for thirty eight weeks now - isn't that long enough? I want to see what he looks like. I also want to regain the ability to breathe and eat, to stop being bewildered by my body. Being pregnant has been fine, but isn't it time to move on? I'm tired of talking about how painful labor is and how my life is going to change. Let's stop talking about it and do this already. Do you hear that, baby? Let's get on with this, already.
And - AND - if he waits until after the New Year, I will have to pay cobra to keep insurance through January, as well as new deductibles for the new year, totaling THREE deductibles that I will have paid for ONE pregnancy, which sounds impossible but is exactly what will happen if this baby doesn't come soon. Yikes.
That's one trail that my addled brain wanders down every few hours. Here's the other:
By the end of this month, a baby will live in my house. A BABY. In the next few weeks, I'm going to be completely responsible for a human life. And before that happens, I'm going to go into labor, and it's going to hurt. There's no way to get around that. No matter what happens afterwards - even though I am planning on an epidural, and even if I had to have a c-section (which is a scenario that exists only in my mind. There is absolutely no medical reason for me to be concerned about a c-section) - no matter what else happens, first, I'm going to go into labor, and it's going to hurt. And if he doesn't come soon, they're going to want to enduce (and I'm going to want them to, probably), and then it will hurt even more. Does he have enough warm clothes/ bottles/ burp cloths/ sheets? How would I know? And the little outfits with footies - are those seriously ALL supposed to be pajamas? Some of them are elaborately decorated and have collars and everything - how many little boys really sleep in collared outfits past six months old? I'm totally using them as real outfits. For my baby. When he gets here, which will be soon. Yikes.
Is everybody out there praying for me? Because you really should be. It's like The Three Faces of Eve around here.