am: hungry. sitting in the library. wearing my work clothes.
think: in spurts - some are more logical than others.
know: that I'll eat dinner soon. that Santa isn't real. that God is good.
have: a lot of love in my life.
hate: the word "hate." vomit. money. that my car is making a funny sound right now (please please please God let my car be ok amen).
don't: like okra or tomatoes. mind changing diapers. like making decisions. like living in limbo.
can't: tell you where I will live next year at this time.
can: cook for 11 people much more efficiently than 6 months ago.
will: not always have a chaotic life.
won't: miss this when I'm done (that's probably a lie. I probably will, and I'll probably complain about it right here).
miss: trees.
fear: not ever having children.
feel: good.
hear: the afterschoolers whispering. the click of keyboards. the hum of flourescent lights. in the mornings, the pitterPADDDDEEEERRRR of many many feet, and 6 "What are we having?"'s.
smell: residual coffee. which i like.
crave: nothing. seriously -
wonder: who wrote the book of love.
regret: blaming others.
love: too many and much to list on a silly little survey.
dream: of a HOUSE and a FLOWERBED and the pitterpadder of our own little feet.
care: about doing things well.
always: FORGET. oops.
am not: as sure of myself as I was five years ago.
believe: in hope.
sing: to the dog. to the Searcy children. with the music at work (Mindy Smith was playing today!).
smile: so much sometimes that I get a headache because all of my smiley muscles are constricted for too long. no kidding.
laugh: at Brian's jokes, sometimes before he tells them.
collect: notebooks full of prayers and thoughts and memories (and it's a good thing, because otherwise i would forget them).
play: a mean game of Scrabble, though I rarely win.
write: in my head constantly.
await: the next step.
cook: regular old foods - spaghetti and oatmeal and lasagna and chicken - pretty well.
trust: easily.
intend: to be where i am.
search: in spurts, as well. it usually follows my thoughts.
look: a little scraggly. i need a haircut.
shout: with regret every time.
whisper: when i'm holding a sleepy baby.
conquer: (ed) the KC metro interstate system to take mikkee to the airport! yay!
listen: whenever i'm given the opportunity.
live: yes. i do.
3 comments:
=) he still does that. only now, it's like he walks behind me picking up tax forms, insurance cards, leases, etc ...
(did anyone pick up on how i intend to be where i am? as soon as i move, i'm going to be where i am. next time, i mean it, i'm really going to do that ...)
I! was just wondering if adoption was not an option for you guys? I don't see how people can fear never having children when there are a bazillion babies who fear never having their own family, already out there. I know it's not an option for some people - just wondering how you felt. Also, I lurve lurve lurve Mindy Smith. Yay! (janet)
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