Just by watching this, you can raise money for autism. So please, go watch it.
In other news, I too am an Obama fan, for all of the reasons listed on other blogs. Though I have to say that IF McCain is the Republican nominee, and IF McCain has Bob Riley, governor of Alabama, as his VP (which is the rumor in Montgomery), I'm going to be torn. I feel the same loyalty to Riley that other Democrats have shown to former Texas governors in previous campaigns. He's done a lot of good for Alabama, and it would be hard for me to vote against him. Honestly, an Obama/ McCain race would be fun to watch. They both have shown a propensity for catching independent voters, and both have not been demonized by the other party (yet). And the political reality is that I live in a red state, so it's hard not to feel as though my vote is swallowed up anyway. But that's a lot of "ifs." First things first, and Super Tuesday is first. And Obama has my vote.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Well, I've been distracted this week so I haven't been as worried about the new baby. Thankfully.
What's been distracting me? We spent a few days with Georgia's Mom, Georgia, and Sawyer. It was an education in parenting multiple children, culminating at 8:30 this morning when Sawyer rode his toy down the stairs. He had a purple goose egg on his forehead large enough for any self-respecting mother to freak out, and earned a trip to the pediatrician in his pajamas as a result. Seriously, he only hit a carpeted step, but he was going fast enough that when his little ride-on toy hit the foyer it cracked the TILE. Thankfully it's pretty difficult to actually damage your brain, so as bad as his forehead may look, he really is okay.
I also was reminded that Asher is indeed an introverted kid. He had a little taste of sibling jealousy and discovered the joy of a toy kitchen set, but mostly he stared at the whirl of activity that is life with two toddlers. When the other two were at Mom's Day Out, Asher came to life, laughing and talking. Otherwise, he just stood and stared. Preschool is going to be interesting.
Last thing - put me in any room of middle-class Americans, and 8 times out of 10 I will be the person least likely to care about gadgets or to spend money on frills. So what. I need a Roomba. Did you hear me? I NEED a Roomba. Because have I mentioned my shedding dog and the hardwood floors and the baby that spends most of his time on the floor with a shedding dog? And how I'm pregnant and only going to get bigger and then have a newborn and then have TWO babies playing on the floor with the shedding dog? See? I need a Roomba. Asher even learned how to say it at Georgia's Mom's House. "OOmba!" He would call. Indeed. You turn this thing on and it cleans the floors for you. It even has a sensor to know where the room ends and where the stairs are (a sensor Sawyer could have used this morning). Seriously. Now the truth is that if I got a robot that scooted around the floor my dog would LOSE his mind, but even so, it would serve me very well. I need a Roomba.
What's been distracting me? We spent a few days with Georgia's Mom, Georgia, and Sawyer. It was an education in parenting multiple children, culminating at 8:30 this morning when Sawyer rode his toy down the stairs. He had a purple goose egg on his forehead large enough for any self-respecting mother to freak out, and earned a trip to the pediatrician in his pajamas as a result. Seriously, he only hit a carpeted step, but he was going fast enough that when his little ride-on toy hit the foyer it cracked the TILE. Thankfully it's pretty difficult to actually damage your brain, so as bad as his forehead may look, he really is okay.
I also was reminded that Asher is indeed an introverted kid. He had a little taste of sibling jealousy and discovered the joy of a toy kitchen set, but mostly he stared at the whirl of activity that is life with two toddlers. When the other two were at Mom's Day Out, Asher came to life, laughing and talking. Otherwise, he just stood and stared. Preschool is going to be interesting.
Last thing - put me in any room of middle-class Americans, and 8 times out of 10 I will be the person least likely to care about gadgets or to spend money on frills. So what. I need a Roomba. Did you hear me? I NEED a Roomba. Because have I mentioned my shedding dog and the hardwood floors and the baby that spends most of his time on the floor with a shedding dog? And how I'm pregnant and only going to get bigger and then have a newborn and then have TWO babies playing on the floor with the shedding dog? See? I need a Roomba. Asher even learned how to say it at Georgia's Mom's House. "OOmba!" He would call. Indeed. You turn this thing on and it cleans the floors for you. It even has a sensor to know where the room ends and where the stairs are (a sensor Sawyer could have used this morning). Seriously. Now the truth is that if I got a robot that scooted around the floor my dog would LOSE his mind, but even so, it would serve me very well. I need a Roomba.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
I love Sunday afternoons when the sun is shining and there's no deadline over my head. LOVE them.
Leftover observations from our weekend in the mountains, and a few new ones from the week:
1. I have spent the past year focused on my child, and in a few months I will have another life who will need my attention as well. I've gotten much better about not focusing on the baby to the exclusion of all else, but my world at the moment is still pretty small. On one hand, I understood last weekend for the first time that this is not a problem to be solved. I am not going to learn how to think less about my children; this is who I am as a mother, and from now on, I will always be a mother. On the other hand, my wise friend Halle gave me some good advice. She said to make time to do the things you love now, when they are babies. If you don't, she says, you will forget what it is you used to love before you had children. You will lose your identity as an individual, and see yourself only as a mother. Good point. So I'm working on that. I need a spiritual outlet and an intellectual outlet of some kind, and I have ideas for both. I'll let you know how it turns out. But I see now that a. I am going to be focused on my children because that's part of who I am as a mother, and b. being a mother is not all that I am.
2. And just like that, fear over the viability of this pregnancy has crept back in. I have been fine for weeks, feeling the baby move, thinking of nursery colors and names. And out of nowhere I'm watching for blood and assuming the worst. Maybe this is true for everyone - once your trust has been broken, part of you always waits for the other shoe to drop. I no longer trust my body to do what it should during pregnancy. The strange thing is how that messes with my mind. I start to question decisions, question relationships, when I know better, when my life is not typically characterized by insecurity. Anyone have any guesses as to why that happens? I would love to hear them.
3. Kiwords has the funniest line in a recent post about Martha Stewart referring to HER crevice cleaner attachment for a vacuum cleaner. She says how, in all the years she's used that vacuum, she's never thought of it as HER vacuum. It's been THE vacuum, not HERS. Yes and amen. It's not MY kitchen, it's not MY washing machine, it's not MY vacuum - though I may use them the most often, I am not the exclusive owner of them. Anyone who wants to vacuum the floors currently owned by the mortgage company but used and, well, mortgaged by us is more than welcome to do so.
4. So here's something interesting: Laurie is going to China for work and is going to meet up with Elizabeth in Hong Kong this week. Laurie and Elizabeth are among my favorite people, but they have never met and have very different lives (though they are not as opposite as it might appear). Laurie and Elizabeth having coffee (or tea, as it were) in Hong Kong and I'm going to miss it. Sad.
That's all I have for now. I hope there's sunshine on your Sunday afternoon too.
Leftover observations from our weekend in the mountains, and a few new ones from the week:
1. I have spent the past year focused on my child, and in a few months I will have another life who will need my attention as well. I've gotten much better about not focusing on the baby to the exclusion of all else, but my world at the moment is still pretty small. On one hand, I understood last weekend for the first time that this is not a problem to be solved. I am not going to learn how to think less about my children; this is who I am as a mother, and from now on, I will always be a mother. On the other hand, my wise friend Halle gave me some good advice. She said to make time to do the things you love now, when they are babies. If you don't, she says, you will forget what it is you used to love before you had children. You will lose your identity as an individual, and see yourself only as a mother. Good point. So I'm working on that. I need a spiritual outlet and an intellectual outlet of some kind, and I have ideas for both. I'll let you know how it turns out. But I see now that a. I am going to be focused on my children because that's part of who I am as a mother, and b. being a mother is not all that I am.
2. And just like that, fear over the viability of this pregnancy has crept back in. I have been fine for weeks, feeling the baby move, thinking of nursery colors and names. And out of nowhere I'm watching for blood and assuming the worst. Maybe this is true for everyone - once your trust has been broken, part of you always waits for the other shoe to drop. I no longer trust my body to do what it should during pregnancy. The strange thing is how that messes with my mind. I start to question decisions, question relationships, when I know better, when my life is not typically characterized by insecurity. Anyone have any guesses as to why that happens? I would love to hear them.
3. Kiwords has the funniest line in a recent post about Martha Stewart referring to HER crevice cleaner attachment for a vacuum cleaner. She says how, in all the years she's used that vacuum, she's never thought of it as HER vacuum. It's been THE vacuum, not HERS. Yes and amen. It's not MY kitchen, it's not MY washing machine, it's not MY vacuum - though I may use them the most often, I am not the exclusive owner of them. Anyone who wants to vacuum the floors currently owned by the mortgage company but used and, well, mortgaged by us is more than welcome to do so.
4. So here's something interesting: Laurie is going to China for work and is going to meet up with Elizabeth in Hong Kong this week. Laurie and Elizabeth are among my favorite people, but they have never met and have very different lives (though they are not as opposite as it might appear). Laurie and Elizabeth having coffee (or tea, as it were) in Hong Kong and I'm going to miss it. Sad.
That's all I have for now. I hope there's sunshine on your Sunday afternoon too.
Friday, January 25, 2008
as promised
We didn't get enough wallets. I may go back and order some more, because I'm already almost out of them, and that's not good. But here are the poses we chose. The silhouette is my favorite. Also, when they print them they center the picture, crop the background, etc. These are the originals, so they are not quite the same as the prints. Last thing - it's only fair to mention that Brian only agreed to wear matching sweaters and take his guitar because he LOVES ME. And he didn't even roll his eyes.
Can I close by bragging on my child? My baby boy went into a restaurant sleep-deprived (his choice, not mine) and hungry, waited a half hour for a table, waited and waited for his food, stayed up an hour past bedtime, and never so much as whimpered. He was cheerful and calm and charmed the servers and patiently ate his body weight in Saltines until dinner arrived. He even stayed willingly in his high chair while we finished eating. Unbelievable.
Can I close by bragging on my child? My baby boy went into a restaurant sleep-deprived (his choice, not mine) and hungry, waited a half hour for a table, waited and waited for his food, stayed up an hour past bedtime, and never so much as whimpered. He was cheerful and calm and charmed the servers and patiently ate his body weight in Saltines until dinner arrived. He even stayed willingly in his high chair while we finished eating. Unbelievable.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Sometime around Asher's birthday, we decided we wanted to have a family picture taken. But of course with the holidays and traveling and this and that, it's taken us a while to get it done. We had family pictures and Asher's one-year pictures taken today.
So here's the thing - when I decided that, I was still in regular clothes. Now I'm four months pregnant. When I saw the pictures I thought, what was I thinking? In a year I'll look much better. Why didn't I just wait until next year?
Nonetheless, they are done. They did get a really cute picture of Asher and Brian with Brian's guitar, and many many cute baby shots (though GOOD WORD taking a one-year-old-who-refused-his-nap's picture requires some parental energy and finesse on the part of the photographer. They line the entire room with interesting-looking props, then expect a baby to sit still on the empty canvas. Good luck with that). And who cares if tonight was not my shining moment in the history of family portraits. It is definitely a snapshot of our family at the moment, so for both the picture and the moment I am grateful.
We'll pick up the CD and the pictures tomorrow. Computer willing and the creek don't rise, I'll post them for you.
So here's the thing - when I decided that, I was still in regular clothes. Now I'm four months pregnant. When I saw the pictures I thought, what was I thinking? In a year I'll look much better. Why didn't I just wait until next year?
Nonetheless, they are done. They did get a really cute picture of Asher and Brian with Brian's guitar, and many many cute baby shots (though GOOD WORD taking a one-year-old-who-refused-his-nap's picture requires some parental energy and finesse on the part of the photographer. They line the entire room with interesting-looking props, then expect a baby to sit still on the empty canvas. Good luck with that). And who cares if tonight was not my shining moment in the history of family portraits. It is definitely a snapshot of our family at the moment, so for both the picture and the moment I am grateful.
We'll pick up the CD and the pictures tomorrow. Computer willing and the creek don't rise, I'll post them for you.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Observations from the mountains
I had a funny moment in the mountains. Brian's gig was a youth convocation; there were about 400ish youth present, as well as their 50ish chaperones and leaders. The sessions were held in the conference rooms of our hotel. The youth met in a huge room, while the adults met across the hall. I liked having separate youth and adult tracts, by the way, but that's not what was funny. What was funny was this - the youth had, of course, an ubercool worship band with dyed black hair and feauxhawks and a well-planned media presentation. The adults had Brian and three of his musician friends, with Brian being the youngest on the stage by a good twenty years, and a few slides during the lecture. We arrive at the hotel after maaaanny hours of driving through the woods, and Brian immediately begins unloading equipment and rehearsing. Which makes this just like every other gig. Except that I haven't been to a gig in a long time, and I forgot about the warp time that one enters, during which 2 am is a logical time to rehearse and sound check. I awoke at 1 am and went downstairs to check on Brian. I hear drums and rock band noises, and out of habit follow the sound of electric guitar. It's not Brian. It's the feauxhawk guy, ten years younger than Brian, doing their sound check in the middle of the night, too. I went across the hall and the band looked like a 20th reunion tour ... I expected to open the door and hear Puff the Magic Dragon. Maybe I'm not describing it well, maybe you had to be there, but it cracked me up. Here we are, ten years later. Still playing, but with a different crowd.
This leads me to my first observation from the weekend. I had the privilege of spending the weekend with a man who can best be desccribed as a fifty-something hippie religious musician. This man could have done anything music-related with his life. He could hold his ground against any musician in Nashville on a stringed instrument, but here he is, leading worship for fifty adults, pastoring a small church in Alabama, and working in an elementary school. There is an honesty and a wisdom and an idealism and an integrity found in his life that I don't see anywhere else. I hope you have the opportunity to know someone like him in your life. I know three - three fifty-something hippie Christian musicians, and each of them have devoted their lives to serving others. Every time I am around any of them, I learn more about who God is, who I am, and who I hope to be when I'm fifty.
That's all for now. More observations to come.
This leads me to my first observation from the weekend. I had the privilege of spending the weekend with a man who can best be desccribed as a fifty-something hippie religious musician. This man could have done anything music-related with his life. He could hold his ground against any musician in Nashville on a stringed instrument, but here he is, leading worship for fifty adults, pastoring a small church in Alabama, and working in an elementary school. There is an honesty and a wisdom and an idealism and an integrity found in his life that I don't see anywhere else. I hope you have the opportunity to know someone like him in your life. I know three - three fifty-something hippie Christian musicians, and each of them have devoted their lives to serving others. Every time I am around any of them, I learn more about who God is, who I am, and who I hope to be when I'm fifty.
That's all for now. More observations to come.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
I'm really not a person who is ruled by her emotions, but today has left me shaky and frayed around the edges. I'm going to be six hours away from Asher this weekend, and even though I've left him overnight before, and even though I trust Linda as much as I trust myself with him, and even though he will be just fine, I have been having dreams all week of losing/ forgetting something related to him. Last night we spent the whole dream looking for his shoes. Another time I'd forgotten to make arrangements to pick him up, so he was across town and I couldn't get to him. The worst one - he was asleep, and I forgot and left him at home, left the oven on, and he died. Add mom-anxiety to pregnancy-induced insanity and stir. Tonight Brian was half an hour late coming home and I was literally imagining how I would help Asher remember his father, so certain was I that he was dead. The final straw - Asher bumped his head twice and had a diaper rash that left him inconsolable, and by that point it was too late. He started crying, and I joined him. We cried together, all the way through his bath and bedtime routine. I kept crying after he went to bed, and I'm not even sure why.
So, this is me, taking a deep breath and doing my best to regain control of my emotions. Even so, I felt the baby move for the first time today. That was nice. And despite my anxiety, I'm looking forward to my weekend. If we can just get out the door with shoes for everyone, we'll all be okay.
So, this is me, taking a deep breath and doing my best to regain control of my emotions. Even so, I felt the baby move for the first time today. That was nice. And despite my anxiety, I'm looking forward to my weekend. If we can just get out the door with shoes for everyone, we'll all be okay.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
MEAL UPDATE - Beef stroganoff was a success. And SO easy. It's called 15-minute beef stroganoff, but it was closer to 30 minute beef stroganoff for me. Anyway, it was great. I'll post the recipe soon.
* * * * *
Here is a current sample of the way my mind works right now. A moment in the life of Stephanie, if you will.
6:15 a.m. Imagine a baby squealing in the background. Not crying, not screaming, just squealing, and I think - I feel GREAT. Today is going to be productive. I am going to clean out the closets and rework our budget and plan my new meal for the week and solve for pi today. Today is MY DAY.
Now imagine the next two hours (if it's not a workday), wherein I change the baby, dress the baby, get breakfast for everyone, feed the baby, clean the oatmeal from between the baby's toes, unload the dishes, deal with the dog, talk to Brian, pick up toys, pick up other toys, change the baby again because he pooped, dress myself, put the baby down for a nap, finish cleaning the kitchen, pick up more toys, and ... by this point I'm thinking "Closets? Budgets? Whatever. What is the least amount of activity I can get away with today?" And sit on the couch for an hour.
My energy level is exactly that up and down. It's hour-to-hour, not even day-to-day. Which is why a. I can't stop treading water and move forward on my prebaby to-do list, and b. I'm not blogging much. For the first time since I started blogging, I'm less than enthused about having one more place to exert energy. But fear not. The truth is that I really enjoy my blogging friendships, and if I want to keep those, I have to keep this. So I will. But if you don't hear as much from me for the next little while, you'll know I've temporarily collapsed on the couch.
I'm that up and down on everything right now. Waiting for your life to change is not easy. There are moments when I want to get on with it and have the new baby NOW, and moments when I can't believe I signed up for this. Two kids in 18 months? What was I thinking? But God has incorporated a waiting period in pregnancy that is unavoidable, so it really doesn't matter what I think about it - it really is going to happen (I hope), and it really is not going to happen any sooner than July (I hope).
So be patient with me, if you will. And if you're the praying type, you might want to say a prayer for my husband, who is exhibiting the patience of Job toward me right now. The poor guy has to LIVE with me like this.
In other news:
1. We are only doing the essential vaccinations for Asher in his second year. I know there is not a solid scientific link between vaccinations and autism, but I have heard too many stories from mothers of autistic children to be able to do them with a clear conscience. And if I can't trust my gut in parenting, what is there left to trust? My doctor was surprisingly non-abrasive when I told her our decision. She recommended we keep the two vaccines that protect against meningitis, but otherwise she had no problems waiting until he was older with everything else (including the MMR, which is the most controversial right now). I chose this pediatrician specifically because she was open to fewer or no vaccines (and some pediatricians won't keep you as a patient if you don't vaccinate), but still I was a little nervous that it might become tense. She was wonderful as always.
2. Asher is learning new words all the time. Sunday was "banana" (or some variation thereof); yesterday was "Pa-Pa." Today was "hot." But here's what impressed me. I told him the stove was hot as I was cooking dinner. "Hoh?" He said. "Yes, baby, hot." As we were sitting at the table, I touched his plate to see if it was cool enough yet, though I didn't say explain what I was doing. Asher pointed at his plate and said, "Hoh?" Genius.
3. Brian and I are going away alone this weekend. Hooray for gigs in the mountains! Hooray for grandparents! Hooray for dogsitting friends! Pancakes and hiking, here we come.
4. Resinol, Missy, is the best. It will clear up a diaper rash after one application. No lie.
5. Pregnancy-induced insanity nonwithstanding, my new meal resolution has not been abandoned. Last week I made a variation on an old pasta dish, but I counted it as a new meal because I have never before messed with pasta sauce. Typically I open the jar, and voila, spaghetti sauce. Last week I still opened a jar, but I added garlic and tomato and peppers and spinach and was impressed with my imagination. It turned out really well. This week we're trying beef stroganoff. Elizabeth sent me authentic Chinese recipes, and we may try those in the next few weeks.
6. A friend said yesterday, "I wanted to change the world. Right now I'm just changing diapers." And there is so much to say about that - SO MUCH - if only I had the energy to say it. But I love her honesty for saying it, and I love her heart for ever wanting to change the world in the first place.
7. You were all right about The Weepies. Love them. I've been singing "No no no no no, nothing else will do, I've gotta have you" to Asher all week. It makes him laugh.
Happy Tuesday, everyone.
* * * * *
Here is a current sample of the way my mind works right now. A moment in the life of Stephanie, if you will.
6:15 a.m. Imagine a baby squealing in the background. Not crying, not screaming, just squealing, and I think - I feel GREAT. Today is going to be productive. I am going to clean out the closets and rework our budget and plan my new meal for the week and solve for pi today. Today is MY DAY.
Now imagine the next two hours (if it's not a workday), wherein I change the baby, dress the baby, get breakfast for everyone, feed the baby, clean the oatmeal from between the baby's toes, unload the dishes, deal with the dog, talk to Brian, pick up toys, pick up other toys, change the baby again because he pooped, dress myself, put the baby down for a nap, finish cleaning the kitchen, pick up more toys, and ... by this point I'm thinking "Closets? Budgets? Whatever. What is the least amount of activity I can get away with today?" And sit on the couch for an hour.
My energy level is exactly that up and down. It's hour-to-hour, not even day-to-day. Which is why a. I can't stop treading water and move forward on my prebaby to-do list, and b. I'm not blogging much. For the first time since I started blogging, I'm less than enthused about having one more place to exert energy. But fear not. The truth is that I really enjoy my blogging friendships, and if I want to keep those, I have to keep this. So I will. But if you don't hear as much from me for the next little while, you'll know I've temporarily collapsed on the couch.
I'm that up and down on everything right now. Waiting for your life to change is not easy. There are moments when I want to get on with it and have the new baby NOW, and moments when I can't believe I signed up for this. Two kids in 18 months? What was I thinking? But God has incorporated a waiting period in pregnancy that is unavoidable, so it really doesn't matter what I think about it - it really is going to happen (I hope), and it really is not going to happen any sooner than July (I hope).
So be patient with me, if you will. And if you're the praying type, you might want to say a prayer for my husband, who is exhibiting the patience of Job toward me right now. The poor guy has to LIVE with me like this.
In other news:
1. We are only doing the essential vaccinations for Asher in his second year. I know there is not a solid scientific link between vaccinations and autism, but I have heard too many stories from mothers of autistic children to be able to do them with a clear conscience. And if I can't trust my gut in parenting, what is there left to trust? My doctor was surprisingly non-abrasive when I told her our decision. She recommended we keep the two vaccines that protect against meningitis, but otherwise she had no problems waiting until he was older with everything else (including the MMR, which is the most controversial right now). I chose this pediatrician specifically because she was open to fewer or no vaccines (and some pediatricians won't keep you as a patient if you don't vaccinate), but still I was a little nervous that it might become tense. She was wonderful as always.
2. Asher is learning new words all the time. Sunday was "banana" (or some variation thereof); yesterday was "Pa-Pa." Today was "hot." But here's what impressed me. I told him the stove was hot as I was cooking dinner. "Hoh?" He said. "Yes, baby, hot." As we were sitting at the table, I touched his plate to see if it was cool enough yet, though I didn't say explain what I was doing. Asher pointed at his plate and said, "Hoh?" Genius.
3. Brian and I are going away alone this weekend. Hooray for gigs in the mountains! Hooray for grandparents! Hooray for dogsitting friends! Pancakes and hiking, here we come.
4. Resinol, Missy, is the best. It will clear up a diaper rash after one application. No lie.
5. Pregnancy-induced insanity nonwithstanding, my new meal resolution has not been abandoned. Last week I made a variation on an old pasta dish, but I counted it as a new meal because I have never before messed with pasta sauce. Typically I open the jar, and voila, spaghetti sauce. Last week I still opened a jar, but I added garlic and tomato and peppers and spinach and was impressed with my imagination. It turned out really well. This week we're trying beef stroganoff. Elizabeth sent me authentic Chinese recipes, and we may try those in the next few weeks.
6. A friend said yesterday, "I wanted to change the world. Right now I'm just changing diapers." And there is so much to say about that - SO MUCH - if only I had the energy to say it. But I love her honesty for saying it, and I love her heart for ever wanting to change the world in the first place.
7. You were all right about The Weepies. Love them. I've been singing "No no no no no, nothing else will do, I've gotta have you" to Asher all week. It makes him laugh.
Happy Tuesday, everyone.
Friday, January 11, 2008
all things maternal
Well, it's not gestational diabetes. I have a blood sugar problem, but my doctor called it anti-diabetes. Put simply, my body overreacts to sugar, whereas a diabetic's body under-reacts. So I'm actually less likely to get gestational diabetes than the average person. But the end result is kind of the same - protein every few hours, small meals throughout the day, and the less sugar the better. The good news is that this way of eating is actually the optimal situation nutritionally for the baby - this kid is eating much better than Asher did in utero. And my problem is not associated with the same complications of labor as gestational diabetes. So, that's that.
Sound machine, number 2 pacifiers (number 1's don't work), baby tupperware, Resinol, lovey blanket, and gas drops: these are the things I never knew existed before I had a baby, and have found indispensable in the past year. I was talking to a friend who is a new mom and realized how important it is to know and trust at least one parent of a baby before you become one yourself. I had two such friends, thankfully, and they introduced me to every one of the things listed above. Without them, the past year would have included many more tears, for both Asher and myself.
A developmental update for those who are interested:
Asher does not have any true, consistent words yet (aside from "mama" and "dada"). But he will imitate a few words, use the same sound for "light" every time, and sign "please," "thank you" (ish), point "down" when he wants to get down, and sign "all done." He also understands anything you say related to his day. It's funny; I've read other blogs that talk about an emotional moment when their baby took his first steps. I think I've said before that I'm in no hurry for him to grow up, so while first steps were fun, they were not earth-shattering for me. But language - well. Having a little person who notices things and has ideas and a sense of humor and wants to share it all with me takes my breath away. It's not like anything else I've ever done in life, including teaching other people's children to talk. It's the best thing ever.
In other news, we have a leak in our roof. But it's in the sunroom, where the floors are brick tile anyway, and it's not yet furnished, so there isn't significant damage. Brian thinks the leak is caused by a missing nail. Isn't that a little mind-boggling? That an entire house that has been standing since 1940 could spring a leak because of a single missing nail? Huh.
So tomorrow Brian will be replacing an apparently essential nail, and Asher will be spending the afternoon with my mom. Because I have had a hard mom week, and desperately need to see a movie or read a magazine or both. He's teething and clingy, I haven't felt well all week, and we started back into the full routine of normal life after a few weeks of holiday fun. The combination of these factors led to a baby-mom-meltdown-combo this morning, the likes of which our home hasn't seen since infancy. Tomorrow I'm going to step away so I can be glad for my life again, Asher will spend a few hours being entertained by his endlessly energetic maternal grandmother, and all will be well.
Last thing: there was a great line tonight in Friday Night Lights. Tammy is worrying about daycare for her baby, to which the coach replies, "Do you know what? That is not our burden. It is our gift." Yes it is.
Have a good weekend, everyone.
Sound machine, number 2 pacifiers (number 1's don't work), baby tupperware, Resinol, lovey blanket, and gas drops: these are the things I never knew existed before I had a baby, and have found indispensable in the past year. I was talking to a friend who is a new mom and realized how important it is to know and trust at least one parent of a baby before you become one yourself. I had two such friends, thankfully, and they introduced me to every one of the things listed above. Without them, the past year would have included many more tears, for both Asher and myself.
A developmental update for those who are interested:
Asher does not have any true, consistent words yet (aside from "mama" and "dada"). But he will imitate a few words, use the same sound for "light" every time, and sign "please," "thank you" (ish), point "down" when he wants to get down, and sign "all done." He also understands anything you say related to his day. It's funny; I've read other blogs that talk about an emotional moment when their baby took his first steps. I think I've said before that I'm in no hurry for him to grow up, so while first steps were fun, they were not earth-shattering for me. But language - well. Having a little person who notices things and has ideas and a sense of humor and wants to share it all with me takes my breath away. It's not like anything else I've ever done in life, including teaching other people's children to talk. It's the best thing ever.
In other news, we have a leak in our roof. But it's in the sunroom, where the floors are brick tile anyway, and it's not yet furnished, so there isn't significant damage. Brian thinks the leak is caused by a missing nail. Isn't that a little mind-boggling? That an entire house that has been standing since 1940 could spring a leak because of a single missing nail? Huh.
So tomorrow Brian will be replacing an apparently essential nail, and Asher will be spending the afternoon with my mom. Because I have had a hard mom week, and desperately need to see a movie or read a magazine or both. He's teething and clingy, I haven't felt well all week, and we started back into the full routine of normal life after a few weeks of holiday fun. The combination of these factors led to a baby-mom-meltdown-combo this morning, the likes of which our home hasn't seen since infancy. Tomorrow I'm going to step away so I can be glad for my life again, Asher will spend a few hours being entertained by his endlessly energetic maternal grandmother, and all will be well.
Last thing: there was a great line tonight in Friday Night Lights. Tammy is worrying about daycare for her baby, to which the coach replies, "Do you know what? That is not our burden. It is our gift." Yes it is.
Have a good weekend, everyone.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Monday, January 07, 2008
to Greg, Lane, and Elizabeth
There's a satisfaction in home that the road never held.
The problem was never in Kansas City, or Colorado, or West Palm Beach, or Birmingham, or Nashville. The problem was in thinking a place is synonymous with life. Place is only a context for the life you build there. I love the life we've built here. In turn, the place we live has become lovely as well.
Greg mentioned the transition from sacred to the mundane, and the need to deny one to become a part of the other. I agree. I rarely talk about our journey, and when it comes up, I let others think it was as silly as it sounds. But it was never silly, and the lessons I learned there were invaluable. I don't know. Most spiritual experiences are too personal to be defended.
That's all. Love to you all.
The problem was never in Kansas City, or Colorado, or West Palm Beach, or Birmingham, or Nashville. The problem was in thinking a place is synonymous with life. Place is only a context for the life you build there. I love the life we've built here. In turn, the place we live has become lovely as well.
Greg mentioned the transition from sacred to the mundane, and the need to deny one to become a part of the other. I agree. I rarely talk about our journey, and when it comes up, I let others think it was as silly as it sounds. But it was never silly, and the lessons I learned there were invaluable. I don't know. Most spiritual experiences are too personal to be defended.
That's all. Love to you all.
1. The problem is that I can only write at night now (mostly, obviously I'm posting right now so this is not universally true). By night time anything worth saying is dreamy and incoherent. So, sorry for the influx of fluff. Please stick with me.
2. Does anyone know about gestational diabetes? I'm thirsty all the time (even though I also drink what feels to me like a substantial amount of water) and I get tired after eating any sugar. Any. Yesterday I had a balanced lunch with ample protein; a few hours later I had something sweet and still crashed. It feels like my blood sugar is getting worse. I'm starting to wonder about gestational diabetes. Any insight?
3. My child. My sweet, curioius, mild-mannered child, has been possessed by a screaming kid. He's pulling at both ears, drooling incessantly, not sleeping well - curse those teeth. I want my calm baby back.
4. I am finally uploading all of my holiday and post holiday pictures, so I leave you with a few baby shots. If I'm going to have fluff, it ought to at least be cute fluff, right? The person who can write the best caption for the last photo wins.
Happy Monday everyone.
2. Does anyone know about gestational diabetes? I'm thirsty all the time (even though I also drink what feels to me like a substantial amount of water) and I get tired after eating any sugar. Any. Yesterday I had a balanced lunch with ample protein; a few hours later I had something sweet and still crashed. It feels like my blood sugar is getting worse. I'm starting to wonder about gestational diabetes. Any insight?
3. My child. My sweet, curioius, mild-mannered child, has been possessed by a screaming kid. He's pulling at both ears, drooling incessantly, not sleeping well - curse those teeth. I want my calm baby back.
4. I am finally uploading all of my holiday and post holiday pictures, so I leave you with a few baby shots. If I'm going to have fluff, it ought to at least be cute fluff, right? The person who can write the best caption for the last photo wins.
Happy Monday everyone.
Saturday, January 05, 2008
week 1 included split peas.
For my first new meal of the year, I made split pea soup. I found the recipe here (by following a link from a link from a link - you know how that goes) and served it tonight. My mother- and father-in-law liked it, Brian and I liked it, Asher liked it. My brother-in-law did not, but he doesn't like any food that carries any pretense of being good for you. I liked it a lot. It's not low-fat but it is healthy, and Asher and I need fat in our diet right now anyway. By the way, I put it in the crockpot and FORGOT TO TURN IT ON until I checked it two hours later. So it cooked on the stovetop for an hour or so and it turned out just fine.
Anyway, the split pea soup was a hit. We'll have it again. Here's a copy of the original recipe (I hope hope hope I can't be sued by reprinting someone's recipe if I say vehemently that it is NOT MINE, it is Natural Mommy's - doesn't that title make you want to sing? You make me feel like a na-tur-ral mommy), in case there's anyone interested.
Surprisingly Good Split Pea Soup
1 lb dried split peas
1 lb smoked sausage of your choice, sliced and halved
5 cubes chicken bouillon (for an even healthier alternative, use 5 cups chicken broth)
1 1/2 c. chopped carrots
1 c. chopped celery
2 potatoes, peeled and chopped
1/2 tsp garlic powder (or 1 clove pressed)
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
2 bay leaves
1 onion, chopped
water
In a 5 qt slow cooker, combine the peas, sausage, bouillon, carrot, celery, potatoes, garlic, oregano, bay leaves, and onion. Add enough water to fill the crock pot. Not so much that it will bubble over. Cover, and cook on high for 4-5 hours (or low for 8-10 hours). Remove bay leaves before ladling into bowls.
The sausage makes the recipe, to be sure. I used the less-fat version but Conecuh sausage (can you buy Conecuh sausage outside of Alabama? I'm not sure) or another spicy sausage would be the best. I cut down on the chicken bullion (from 5 to 2, because 5 is a LOT of sodium), added a potato, used less celery and less onion (3/4 instead of one whole), based on the tastes of my family. It was good.
Happy Saturday everyone.
Anyway, the split pea soup was a hit. We'll have it again. Here's a copy of the original recipe (I hope hope hope I can't be sued by reprinting someone's recipe if I say vehemently that it is NOT MINE, it is Natural Mommy's - doesn't that title make you want to sing? You make me feel like a na-tur-ral mommy), in case there's anyone interested.
Surprisingly Good Split Pea Soup
1 lb dried split peas
1 lb smoked sausage of your choice, sliced and halved
5 cubes chicken bouillon (for an even healthier alternative, use 5 cups chicken broth)
1 1/2 c. chopped carrots
1 c. chopped celery
2 potatoes, peeled and chopped
1/2 tsp garlic powder (or 1 clove pressed)
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
2 bay leaves
1 onion, chopped
water
In a 5 qt slow cooker, combine the peas, sausage, bouillon, carrot, celery, potatoes, garlic, oregano, bay leaves, and onion. Add enough water to fill the crock pot. Not so much that it will bubble over. Cover, and cook on high for 4-5 hours (or low for 8-10 hours). Remove bay leaves before ladling into bowls.
The sausage makes the recipe, to be sure. I used the less-fat version but Conecuh sausage (can you buy Conecuh sausage outside of Alabama? I'm not sure) or another spicy sausage would be the best. I cut down on the chicken bullion (from 5 to 2, because 5 is a LOT of sodium), added a potato, used less celery and less onion (3/4 instead of one whole), based on the tastes of my family. It was good.
Happy Saturday everyone.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
in review
Let it be known that I am actively suppressing the urge to eat ice cream in 10* weather at 9:30 at night. And I don't even like ice cream all that much, typically. This, after days of wanting nothing but the skin from baked potatoes. In case the positive test and swelling belly and ultrasounds weren't enough to convince me ...
I've been thinking a lot about gender recently and am brewing a post about it. In the meantime, a little fluff. From me to you.
It's been a tumultuous year, but it ended well. I wonder how my answers would be different if it hadn't.
1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before? I learned how to be a mom. I recovered from surgery. I was reminded how much Brian means to me.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I normally don't make resolutions on New Year's; I typically decide to do something, and about 7 times out of 10 do it (running is the one thing I keep saying I'm going to do, but never do). So I didn't make any last year, but this year I want to cook one new meal a week and organize our paperwork. Any suggestions?
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes! Carrie had Kaylan Grace on June 24 (I think it was the 24th).
4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes.
5. What countries did you visit? All journeys worth remembering were internal this year.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? I want to be more involved in my church community.
7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? August 1 seems destined to be a sad day for me. On July 14 Sawyer (my nephew of sorts) was baptized, and I think I will remember that. 2007 was mostly a thousand moments of tiny firsts, and I like to think I'll remember them all.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Coming out of the fog twice - first of infancy, then of depression after the miscarriage. Also, losing the baby weight before starting all over again.
9. What was your biggest failure? Failure shmailure.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Yes.
11. What was the best thing you bought? A house.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Everyone who has watched their spouse become a parent will understand what I mean when I say - Brian.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? My own.
14. Where did most of your money go? Publix, is my guess. But in a few weeks I'll be able to tell you more specifically.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The first time the baby slept through the night. Also, healing - in myself and in loved ones.
16. What songs will always remind you of 2007? The Wailin' Jennys will always sound like 2007 for me.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? gosh, I don't know. Definitely less overwhelmed - a year ago I had a newborn.
b) thinner or fatter? thinner, for the moment.
c) richer or poorer? neither. and both.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Building relationships with acquaintances from our church.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Incessant fretting over every minute detail of infancy (because I was ca-razy with hormones and new mom anxiety. I really hope I'll be calmer next time around).
20. How did you spend Christmas? at my house with my family. It was my favorite Christmas so far.
21. Did you fall in love in 2007? Yes. With my baby boy and with the notion of grandmas and with my husband as we learn to parent together.
22. What was your favorite TV program? Friday Night Lights.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Hate is such a strong word.
24. What was the best book you read? I regret to inform you that I read nothing noteworthy last year. Not one thing. I reread Harry Potter AGAIN and the Narnia series AGAIN ... nothing life changing. Though I did get two books by James Baldwin for Christmas and started Go Tell It on the Mountain today.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery? The Wailin' Jennys.
26. What did you want and get? I got to spend this year at home.
27. What did you want and not get? A different ending last summer.
28. What was your favorite film of this year? Happy Feet.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 29; I ate seafood.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Nothing.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? Ha. My weight and body shape have fluctuated so dramatically in the past two years that my "personal fashion concept" is whatever is in my closet that happens to fit on any given day. Thanks to Christmas money I bought maternity clothes, though, so at least I can get dressed.
32. What kept you sane? Walking. Dates with Brian. Praying. The compassion and loyalty of my friends.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? N/A
34. What political issue stirred you the most? Equal rights for gay Americans.
35. Who did you miss? Granny.
36. Who was the best new person you met? I have made internet friends this year, which is a first for me. You are all interesting and engaging, and I'm glad to have met you all.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007. A perfect day does not exist. And that is okay.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Have I mentioned Brian makes up songs? It's not just him - I know most of the band family does it, too. When Asher was just a couple of days old, and his eyes were mostly closed, Brian began singing
Bright eyes, won't you look at me, with those bright eyes?
I can't wait to see my baby boy looking back at me
With those bright eyes
and hand to God, Asher would open his eyes when he sang it. That moment sums up my year.
I've been thinking a lot about gender recently and am brewing a post about it. In the meantime, a little fluff. From me to you.
It's been a tumultuous year, but it ended well. I wonder how my answers would be different if it hadn't.
1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before? I learned how to be a mom. I recovered from surgery. I was reminded how much Brian means to me.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I normally don't make resolutions on New Year's; I typically decide to do something, and about 7 times out of 10 do it (running is the one thing I keep saying I'm going to do, but never do). So I didn't make any last year, but this year I want to cook one new meal a week and organize our paperwork. Any suggestions?
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes! Carrie had Kaylan Grace on June 24 (I think it was the 24th).
4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes.
5. What countries did you visit? All journeys worth remembering were internal this year.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? I want to be more involved in my church community.
7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? August 1 seems destined to be a sad day for me. On July 14 Sawyer (my nephew of sorts) was baptized, and I think I will remember that. 2007 was mostly a thousand moments of tiny firsts, and I like to think I'll remember them all.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Coming out of the fog twice - first of infancy, then of depression after the miscarriage. Also, losing the baby weight before starting all over again.
9. What was your biggest failure? Failure shmailure.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Yes.
11. What was the best thing you bought? A house.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Everyone who has watched their spouse become a parent will understand what I mean when I say - Brian.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? My own.
14. Where did most of your money go? Publix, is my guess. But in a few weeks I'll be able to tell you more specifically.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The first time the baby slept through the night. Also, healing - in myself and in loved ones.
16. What songs will always remind you of 2007? The Wailin' Jennys will always sound like 2007 for me.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? gosh, I don't know. Definitely less overwhelmed - a year ago I had a newborn.
b) thinner or fatter? thinner, for the moment.
c) richer or poorer? neither. and both.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Building relationships with acquaintances from our church.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Incessant fretting over every minute detail of infancy (because I was ca-razy with hormones and new mom anxiety. I really hope I'll be calmer next time around).
20. How did you spend Christmas? at my house with my family. It was my favorite Christmas so far.
21. Did you fall in love in 2007? Yes. With my baby boy and with the notion of grandmas and with my husband as we learn to parent together.
22. What was your favorite TV program? Friday Night Lights.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Hate is such a strong word.
24. What was the best book you read? I regret to inform you that I read nothing noteworthy last year. Not one thing. I reread Harry Potter AGAIN and the Narnia series AGAIN ... nothing life changing. Though I did get two books by James Baldwin for Christmas and started Go Tell It on the Mountain today.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery? The Wailin' Jennys.
26. What did you want and get? I got to spend this year at home.
27. What did you want and not get? A different ending last summer.
28. What was your favorite film of this year? Happy Feet.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 29; I ate seafood.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Nothing.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? Ha. My weight and body shape have fluctuated so dramatically in the past two years that my "personal fashion concept" is whatever is in my closet that happens to fit on any given day. Thanks to Christmas money I bought maternity clothes, though, so at least I can get dressed.
32. What kept you sane? Walking. Dates with Brian. Praying. The compassion and loyalty of my friends.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? N/A
34. What political issue stirred you the most? Equal rights for gay Americans.
35. Who did you miss? Granny.
36. Who was the best new person you met? I have made internet friends this year, which is a first for me. You are all interesting and engaging, and I'm glad to have met you all.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007. A perfect day does not exist. And that is okay.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Have I mentioned Brian makes up songs? It's not just him - I know most of the band family does it, too. When Asher was just a couple of days old, and his eyes were mostly closed, Brian began singing
Bright eyes, won't you look at me, with those bright eyes?
I can't wait to see my baby boy looking back at me
With those bright eyes
and hand to God, Asher would open his eyes when he sang it. That moment sums up my year.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
home
I promise to write something substantive soon. Until then -
we're home!
The holidays have been great fun, and now we are ready to settle back into normal life. A nice, boring January sounds perfect right now.
Also, for the first time I met in real life someone I know through the internet. Adrienne lives in Nashville, so we were able to get together while we were there. She's a friend of a friend (two friends, actually, who aren't friends of one another - talk about seven degrees); it was really fun. She is every bit as sweet and genuine in real life as she is on her blog, and her little boy is just as cute in person as he is in pictures.
AND- Tonya had a baby on Christmas Day - hooray.
Last thing - my New Year's Resolution is two-fold:
a. to cook one new meal a week
b. to organize our home.
We are not especially cluttered, but we need some fine-tuning with paperwork and extra-bedroom type stuff. Since every bedroom will soon be claimed, we need to get our act together a little better. So send me your best organizational tip and your favorite recipe, if you don't mind. I need all the help I can get.
Okay, I'm off. But check back soon. I promise to write something worth reading in time.
we're home!
The holidays have been great fun, and now we are ready to settle back into normal life. A nice, boring January sounds perfect right now.
Also, for the first time I met in real life someone I know through the internet. Adrienne lives in Nashville, so we were able to get together while we were there. She's a friend of a friend (two friends, actually, who aren't friends of one another - talk about seven degrees); it was really fun. She is every bit as sweet and genuine in real life as she is on her blog, and her little boy is just as cute in person as he is in pictures.
AND- Tonya had a baby on Christmas Day - hooray.
Last thing - my New Year's Resolution is two-fold:
a. to cook one new meal a week
b. to organize our home.
We are not especially cluttered, but we need some fine-tuning with paperwork and extra-bedroom type stuff. Since every bedroom will soon be claimed, we need to get our act together a little better. So send me your best organizational tip and your favorite recipe, if you don't mind. I need all the help I can get.
Okay, I'm off. But check back soon. I promise to write something worth reading in time.
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