Good morning.
I have written a good bit this week, but Wednesday is usually my blogging day, and I have such little routine right now that I don't really want to neglect this one. So, if you're interested, here's a little update on our external lives in Kansas.
1. Kansas is COLD. Yesterday, it was 27* (actual temperature) at 3 pm with serious wind gusts. A few nights ago, it snowed (not much, I'll admit, but I'm from Alabama. All snow is significant). It is supposed to snow again this weekend.
2. Friday is the oldest Searcy girl's birthday. She'll be nine. For her birthday, we're all going out to a farm to go horseback riding. This will be a great adventure, with one minor drawback. See #1 for more details.
3. I am reading the Narnia series (I'll admit it; I've given in to the Narnia media craze). I'm about 3/4 through "The Magician's Nephew"; it's the first time I have ever read any of the books. I loved the description of the creation of Narnia. Not to spoil any surprises for those who, like me, have never read them before, but Narnia is created out of Aslan's song. The imagery is SO good. Also, if you're against HP you must also be against Narnia; they are really similar.
4. A short neighborhood update: remember a few weeks ago, when I mentioned our neighbor's suicide? His wife and children have moved back to California. Through a somewhat unusual series of events, all of the children will get to stay together (his current wife and ex-wife are now living together). I'm glad for the kids, that they will have that measure of consistency. Todd is in touch with the family pretty regularly. The dead man's truck is parked at the end of the cul-de-sac, and we're the last house on the street, so when I look out the window I see his car. It is very eery.
5. I've bought a few CD's from the bookstore at IHOP, and have greatly enjoyed having fresh music. Between that and the new Crowder CD, I have been newly inspired. The "Home" quote from the prayer room came from a song by Grace Faulkner, in case you were wondering.
6. I just finished reading "Bondage Breaker" by Neil T. Anderson. Loved it.
7. We're headed home next week, and will be there until after the New Year. I'm going to miss the Searcys and Kansas, but I'm also really excited about being home long enough to see everyone in Alabama.
That's all. I know this is a pretty boring post ... I'll see what kind of controversy I can stir up for next week.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Ahem.
In the past few days, since I started writing about Scripture and truth and such, something unexpected is happening ... I'm losing friends like flies. Well, not losing them so much as no one wants to talk to me anymore. Sad.
We all know that there is a season for everything (in my head I hear Valerie saying, "Life is about balance"). This is my season to be here, doing this. I love it and I'm thankful for it, but I also know that it can't last forever. I will have hard times and just regular old days again. I enjoy this because I know it's temporary. And being temporary doesn't falsify any experience - it doesn't dull pain in hard times, or the fun of good times. So I'm glad to be here, but if you aren't, if you are doubting God or just not even thinking about spiritual things right now, that's fine,too. It's the season you're in. I will be there again,and you will be here, because that's the way it works.
There is therefore now no condemnation from Kansas.
Love,
ssg
We all know that there is a season for everything (in my head I hear Valerie saying, "Life is about balance"). This is my season to be here, doing this. I love it and I'm thankful for it, but I also know that it can't last forever. I will have hard times and just regular old days again. I enjoy this because I know it's temporary. And being temporary doesn't falsify any experience - it doesn't dull pain in hard times, or the fun of good times. So I'm glad to be here, but if you aren't, if you are doubting God or just not even thinking about spiritual things right now, that's fine,too. It's the season you're in. I will be there again,and you will be here, because that's the way it works.
There is therefore now no condemnation from Kansas.
Love,
ssg
Saturday, November 26, 2005
megachurches and isaiah
Good morning.
Because I don't have consistent computer access, I have started writing posts by hand and then typing them out (rather than thinking as I type). I usually have a library-imposed time limit, and writing gives me time to think about what I'm saying. I currently have three different posts written out, and I'd intended to use at least one of them this morning. But I'm not going to. Mary, I just read your most recent post. This is my response:
"Woe to the obstinate children," declares the Lord,
"To those who carry out plans that are not mine,
forming an alliance, but not by my Spirit,
heaping sin upon sin ...
Though they have officials in Zoan
and their envoys have arrived in Hanes,
everyone will be put to shame
because of a people useless to them,
who bring neither help nor advantage
but only shame and disgrace ...
These are rebellious people, deceitful children,
children unwilling to listen to the Lord's instruction.
They say to the seers, 'See no more visions!'
and to the prophets, 'Give us no more visions of what is right!
Tell us pleasant things,
prophesy illusions.
Leave this way,
Get off this path
and stop confronting us with the Holy one of Israel."
Isaiah 30: 1,4-5, 9-11
I have experienced what I can honestly call the fear of the Lord only twice in my life. The first time was this summer, during prayer. The second time was a week or so ago, when I was encouraged to read Isaiah 30. I read this Scripture the morning before we met with a pastor about possibly working with him, and I was so unnerved by the passage that we seriously considered cancelling our meeting. Here's what stands out to me about this Scripture: they are still the children of God, they just started making plans of their own. They didn't ask God where to go; instead, they were doing what made sense to them. They joined up with others who were doing the same, and their alliances were not led by the Holy Spirit. It scares me, because most of what happens in the modern church is a person's idea; most churches are seeing what's working, and following other churches, rather than following God. Our alliances are based on logic, not the Holy Spirit.
"These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in vain;
their teachings are but rules taught by men."
Matthew 15:8-9 (Jesus is quoting Isaiah 29:13)
Is the modern American mainstream church worshipping God, or worshipping the success of megachurches? Are we using guidelines motivated to help ourselves,or are we asking God to heal us? Are we worshipping the form - including the liturgy in stone cathedrals and the 'edginess' of church plants in high school gyms - or a Savior?
Everyone is afraid of these kinds of conversations, because they don't want to be seen as judgmental, nor do they want other people judging them. But wisdom and discernment are given to us by God. It is the responsibility of all believers to hold someone's teaching up to Scripture. It is our responsibility to test everything, to avoid making alliances that are not Spirit led, to protect ourselves from lies and deception. I am not speaking against a specific megachurch or a specific bestselling book here ... all I'm saying is to be alert. Be careful of who you are reading and following, be careful of who is guiding your thoughts about God and life.
I'll close with this:
"Guard what has been entrusted to your care. Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge, which some have professed and in so doing have wandered from the faith. Grace be with you."
1 Tim 6:20
Because I don't have consistent computer access, I have started writing posts by hand and then typing them out (rather than thinking as I type). I usually have a library-imposed time limit, and writing gives me time to think about what I'm saying. I currently have three different posts written out, and I'd intended to use at least one of them this morning. But I'm not going to. Mary, I just read your most recent post. This is my response:
"Woe to the obstinate children," declares the Lord,
"To those who carry out plans that are not mine,
forming an alliance, but not by my Spirit,
heaping sin upon sin ...
Though they have officials in Zoan
and their envoys have arrived in Hanes,
everyone will be put to shame
because of a people useless to them,
who bring neither help nor advantage
but only shame and disgrace ...
These are rebellious people, deceitful children,
children unwilling to listen to the Lord's instruction.
They say to the seers, 'See no more visions!'
and to the prophets, 'Give us no more visions of what is right!
Tell us pleasant things,
prophesy illusions.
Leave this way,
Get off this path
and stop confronting us with the Holy one of Israel."
Isaiah 30: 1,4-5, 9-11
I have experienced what I can honestly call the fear of the Lord only twice in my life. The first time was this summer, during prayer. The second time was a week or so ago, when I was encouraged to read Isaiah 30. I read this Scripture the morning before we met with a pastor about possibly working with him, and I was so unnerved by the passage that we seriously considered cancelling our meeting. Here's what stands out to me about this Scripture: they are still the children of God, they just started making plans of their own. They didn't ask God where to go; instead, they were doing what made sense to them. They joined up with others who were doing the same, and their alliances were not led by the Holy Spirit. It scares me, because most of what happens in the modern church is a person's idea; most churches are seeing what's working, and following other churches, rather than following God. Our alliances are based on logic, not the Holy Spirit.
"These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in vain;
their teachings are but rules taught by men."
Matthew 15:8-9 (Jesus is quoting Isaiah 29:13)
Is the modern American mainstream church worshipping God, or worshipping the success of megachurches? Are we using guidelines motivated to help ourselves,or are we asking God to heal us? Are we worshipping the form - including the liturgy in stone cathedrals and the 'edginess' of church plants in high school gyms - or a Savior?
Everyone is afraid of these kinds of conversations, because they don't want to be seen as judgmental, nor do they want other people judging them. But wisdom and discernment are given to us by God. It is the responsibility of all believers to hold someone's teaching up to Scripture. It is our responsibility to test everything, to avoid making alliances that are not Spirit led, to protect ourselves from lies and deception. I am not speaking against a specific megachurch or a specific bestselling book here ... all I'm saying is to be alert. Be careful of who you are reading and following, be careful of who is guiding your thoughts about God and life.
I'll close with this:
"Guard what has been entrusted to your care. Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge, which some have professed and in so doing have wandered from the faith. Grace be with you."
1 Tim 6:20
thoughts on truth
Jesus answered, "... for this reason I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me."
"What is truth?" Pilate asked.
John 13:38-39
I've been mulling over this word, TRUTH, for the past few weeks. I spent most of one day reading about it, looking up the Greek and Hebrew words that are interpreted as "truth" in modern translations of the Bible. What I learned is that the word doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Truth means certain, firm, secure, steady, not concealed, stable, trustworthy, fixed, established, right. It does not mean "good" or "moral".
I am afraid to use this word, truth. Almost everyone I know is. Afraid of being wrong, afraid of hurting people, afraid of setting a standard no one can meet, afraid of failure. I have asked the same question as Pilate with the same level of disdain and cynicism that I hear when I read this story. What is truth? Does truth even exist?
I have always thought of truth as reality, and I have always thought of reality as being, in large part, self-prescribed. What makes something true? Is believing it to be true what establishes its truthfulness? Then couldn't everything be true, or nothing be true? If so, is anything in life certain? It's a circular conversation,and usually leaves me confused and frustrated.
Which is why understanding how the Scripture uses this word has helped clarify my thoughts. Truth is reality, but not all of reality is true. Reality is largely about perception; if you don't believe me, I'll tell you a story face to face sometime that will convince you. But truth is a fixed entity, not dependent on my understanding or even acceptance of it. It isn't necessary for me to believe something to make it true.
I have a deep need for steadiness, security, certainty, things that are fixed and firm, in my life. I need to be tethered to something solid; I need a grid through which I can think and function. I need the truth.
Most people avoid this word, truth, because they are afraid of either being judged or being judgmental. But we're thirsty for it, too, something solid and firm and established. We're thirsty as individuals and as a culture. We are a generation that has nothing fixed in our lives anymore. We're both looking for it and afraid to find it, this word, this truth.
What are we afraid of?
"What is truth?" Pilate asked.
John 13:38-39
I've been mulling over this word, TRUTH, for the past few weeks. I spent most of one day reading about it, looking up the Greek and Hebrew words that are interpreted as "truth" in modern translations of the Bible. What I learned is that the word doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Truth means certain, firm, secure, steady, not concealed, stable, trustworthy, fixed, established, right. It does not mean "good" or "moral".
I am afraid to use this word, truth. Almost everyone I know is. Afraid of being wrong, afraid of hurting people, afraid of setting a standard no one can meet, afraid of failure. I have asked the same question as Pilate with the same level of disdain and cynicism that I hear when I read this story. What is truth? Does truth even exist?
I have always thought of truth as reality, and I have always thought of reality as being, in large part, self-prescribed. What makes something true? Is believing it to be true what establishes its truthfulness? Then couldn't everything be true, or nothing be true? If so, is anything in life certain? It's a circular conversation,and usually leaves me confused and frustrated.
Which is why understanding how the Scripture uses this word has helped clarify my thoughts. Truth is reality, but not all of reality is true. Reality is largely about perception; if you don't believe me, I'll tell you a story face to face sometime that will convince you. But truth is a fixed entity, not dependent on my understanding or even acceptance of it. It isn't necessary for me to believe something to make it true.
I have a deep need for steadiness, security, certainty, things that are fixed and firm, in my life. I need to be tethered to something solid; I need a grid through which I can think and function. I need the truth.
Most people avoid this word, truth, because they are afraid of either being judged or being judgmental. But we're thirsty for it, too, something solid and firm and established. We're thirsty as individuals and as a culture. We are a generation that has nothing fixed in our lives anymore. We're both looking for it and afraid to find it, this word, this truth.
What are we afraid of?
truth
I looked up the Greek and Hebrew words for truth used in Scripture. Here are their definitions:
* stability, certainty, trustworthy, established, faithful, right, sure
* firmness,fidelity, set office, steady
* to balance,evenly weighed
* verity
* no doubt, surely
* something fixed, certain portion
* to be firm
* uprightness
* not concealing
Scriptures related to truth: (not a complete list)
- But when he, the Spirit of truth,comes, he will guide you in all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will only speak what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. John 16:13
- Let God be true, and every man a liar. Romans 3:4
- Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Him who is the head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:15
- People will be lovers of themselves,lovers of money ... always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth. 2 Timoty 3:1, 7
- If we claim to be without sin,we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 1 John 1:8
- Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This is how we know we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence when our hearts condemn us. 1 John 3:18-20
- I have not spoken in secret, from somewhere in a land of darkness; I have not said to Jacob's descendants, 'Seek me in vain.' I, the Lord, speak the truth. Isaiah 45:19
- Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshippers the Father seeks. God is spirit,and his worshippers must worship in spirit and in truth. John 4:23-24
- They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served created things rather than the Creator. Romans 1:25
- Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 1 Cor.13:6
- This (prayers, thanksgiving, and intercession) is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. 1 Timothy 2:4
- This is what we speak,not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit,expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. 1 Corinthians 2:13
- For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. John 1:17
* stability, certainty, trustworthy, established, faithful, right, sure
* firmness,fidelity, set office, steady
* to balance,evenly weighed
* verity
* no doubt, surely
* something fixed, certain portion
* to be firm
* uprightness
* not concealing
Scriptures related to truth: (not a complete list)
- But when he, the Spirit of truth,comes, he will guide you in all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will only speak what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. John 16:13
- Let God be true, and every man a liar. Romans 3:4
- Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Him who is the head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:15
- People will be lovers of themselves,lovers of money ... always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth. 2 Timoty 3:1, 7
- If we claim to be without sin,we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 1 John 1:8
- Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This is how we know we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence when our hearts condemn us. 1 John 3:18-20
- I have not spoken in secret, from somewhere in a land of darkness; I have not said to Jacob's descendants, 'Seek me in vain.' I, the Lord, speak the truth. Isaiah 45:19
- Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshippers the Father seeks. God is spirit,and his worshippers must worship in spirit and in truth. John 4:23-24
- They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served created things rather than the Creator. Romans 1:25
- Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 1 Cor.13:6
- This (prayers, thanksgiving, and intercession) is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. 1 Timothy 2:4
- This is what we speak,not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit,expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. 1 Corinthians 2:13
- For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. John 1:17
Friday, November 18, 2005
11/18/05
- She says, "How could I have been so foolish?" I say, "The alternative was a lie. That's not love, either." She says, "Still, something is better than nothing."
- A little boy ran through our backyard yesterday, following the other little boys on their way to the woods. He was still dressed in the suit he wore to his father's funeral. Nobody told him to eat something first, to put on play clothes. No one looked for his gloves before he went out into the wintery afternoon. No one has told him he is going to be okay. He is the oldest little boy I know.
- She was afraid - of dogs, of water, of germs, of being in crowds, of being alone. But it wasn't any of those things, it was never really any of those things that scared her. Is it better now that she can name her fears?
"And how shall they comfort each other, who have come so young to grief? Who will number the grains of loss, and what would comfort be?" - Adrienne Rich
"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows is God in his holy dwelling; he sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing." Ps 66:5-6
This is what is on my mind today.
- A little boy ran through our backyard yesterday, following the other little boys on their way to the woods. He was still dressed in the suit he wore to his father's funeral. Nobody told him to eat something first, to put on play clothes. No one looked for his gloves before he went out into the wintery afternoon. No one has told him he is going to be okay. He is the oldest little boy I know.
- She was afraid - of dogs, of water, of germs, of being in crowds, of being alone. But it wasn't any of those things, it was never really any of those things that scared her. Is it better now that she can name her fears?
"And how shall they comfort each other, who have come so young to grief? Who will number the grains of loss, and what would comfort be?" - Adrienne Rich
"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows is God in his holy dwelling; he sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing." Ps 66:5-6
This is what is on my mind today.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
PS
* My hair has no chance in the windy (and surprisingly humid) Kansas climate. I live in a ponytail these days. Sadly ...
* I am also working on putting up new pictures on our flickr site. The logistics of that become more complicated now that we don't have our own computer.
* If I don't have your mailing address, will you email it to me?
That's all ... now I'm off to find a job ...
* I am also working on putting up new pictures on our flickr site. The logistics of that become more complicated now that we don't have our own computer.
* If I don't have your mailing address, will you email it to me?
That's all ... now I'm off to find a job ...
What I'm Learning
You just knew I'd end up preaching here. You just knew it would come to that ... =)
The first few days I went to the prayer room, I almost could not stand to go. Brian called it "my sin problem" - every time I went, I was overwhelmed by my sin ... I couldn't stand to stay in there for very long, because I just couldn't take it after a while. I couldn't stand to see how depraved I really am.
I'm better now. It took several days to repent and to believe that I have been forgiven, but now I can go to the prayer room and worship and pray ... my sin problem is resolved by the blood of Christ.
I am learning about truth - until this point, I haven't had a very high regard for the truth. I think I said a few weeks ago that truth and love seem to stand in opposition to one another, especially in our culture, and so I've erred toward love. Which I still believe is the right approach to take ... but I also believe that in Christ truth and love do NOT stand in opposition to one another. They certainly did not in the life of Jesus. I've realized that I have been dissatisfied with the shortcomings of Christian life I have seen around me, and I think that is what Mikkee would call "a holy discontentment" - it was good to be dissatisfied. But, rather than turning to Scripture to see the right way, I turned to other things in our culture, such as politics. There is no satisfaction there, either. The Truth is found in Scripture. I am learning to trust that and to look to the Word, rather than other people. I don't do this easily; it causes so much internal friction because so much of my life is not in line with the Word. But Paul says, "Let God be true and every man a liar." I want to live this out. I'm learning how right now.
I have also been studying spiritual warfare. I have intentionally not studied spiritual warfare for years, because I thought it was a hokie and simplistic view of life. I also thought that people used spiritual warfare to avoid personal responsibility, and I didn't want to be a part of that. But what I'm learning is that the theology behind spiritual warfare is solid; it's the application that can get a little weird (if in the wrong hands). Most of spiritual warfare is a defensive stance - to stand against evil. That is accomplished by following Christ, by admitting when I'm wrong and turning away from the wrong thing, and by being honest with myself and God. Isn't this our goal as believers anyway? I could say much more about this, but you have been kind to read my all of my rantings to this point, so I'll spare you. But if you're interested, I'm reading "The Three Battlegrounds" by Francis Frangipane. I also had "Spiritual Warfare 101" one afternoon with Todd, and have several pages of notes from it. So if you want to talk more about this, email (or call) me, and we'll hash it out.
So that's what I'm learning. The more I go to the prayer room, the more I enjoy being there. Anyone who wants to come to Kansas City and experience our life here has an open invitation. You can probably stay with us, but even if you can't, IHOP rents out rooms very cheaply for visitors. We would love to have you. I would love for you all to eat dinner at the Searcys and then go to the prayer room with us. You'll never be the same ...
The first few days I went to the prayer room, I almost could not stand to go. Brian called it "my sin problem" - every time I went, I was overwhelmed by my sin ... I couldn't stand to stay in there for very long, because I just couldn't take it after a while. I couldn't stand to see how depraved I really am.
I'm better now. It took several days to repent and to believe that I have been forgiven, but now I can go to the prayer room and worship and pray ... my sin problem is resolved by the blood of Christ.
I am learning about truth - until this point, I haven't had a very high regard for the truth. I think I said a few weeks ago that truth and love seem to stand in opposition to one another, especially in our culture, and so I've erred toward love. Which I still believe is the right approach to take ... but I also believe that in Christ truth and love do NOT stand in opposition to one another. They certainly did not in the life of Jesus. I've realized that I have been dissatisfied with the shortcomings of Christian life I have seen around me, and I think that is what Mikkee would call "a holy discontentment" - it was good to be dissatisfied. But, rather than turning to Scripture to see the right way, I turned to other things in our culture, such as politics. There is no satisfaction there, either. The Truth is found in Scripture. I am learning to trust that and to look to the Word, rather than other people. I don't do this easily; it causes so much internal friction because so much of my life is not in line with the Word. But Paul says, "Let God be true and every man a liar." I want to live this out. I'm learning how right now.
I have also been studying spiritual warfare. I have intentionally not studied spiritual warfare for years, because I thought it was a hokie and simplistic view of life. I also thought that people used spiritual warfare to avoid personal responsibility, and I didn't want to be a part of that. But what I'm learning is that the theology behind spiritual warfare is solid; it's the application that can get a little weird (if in the wrong hands). Most of spiritual warfare is a defensive stance - to stand against evil. That is accomplished by following Christ, by admitting when I'm wrong and turning away from the wrong thing, and by being honest with myself and God. Isn't this our goal as believers anyway? I could say much more about this, but you have been kind to read my all of my rantings to this point, so I'll spare you. But if you're interested, I'm reading "The Three Battlegrounds" by Francis Frangipane. I also had "Spiritual Warfare 101" one afternoon with Todd, and have several pages of notes from it. So if you want to talk more about this, email (or call) me, and we'll hash it out.
So that's what I'm learning. The more I go to the prayer room, the more I enjoy being there. Anyone who wants to come to Kansas City and experience our life here has an open invitation. You can probably stay with us, but even if you can't, IHOP rents out rooms very cheaply for visitors. We would love to have you. I would love for you all to eat dinner at the Searcys and then go to the prayer room with us. You'll never be the same ...
Week 2 in Kansas
Hi.
It's my intention to write two posts today - an external update and a spiritual update. However, I'm at the library and there are time limits on computer use, so we'll see if I have time to do that or not. I'll do my best.
Kansas is COLD. It snowed yesterday. Today is clear and sunny and windy ... my favorite kind of winter day. I feel like we drove through fall on our way up here ... in Jackson, MS, the leaves were still green. In Memphis, they were changing; in St. Louis, we saw bright reds and oranges; by Kansas City, the trees were bare.
How did I get off on that? Back to week two ..
It's good. Honestly, I don't want to leave any time soon. While in Birmingham, we were always thinking about the future. But here, I can't see past Kansas City at all. I can't see past living with the Searcys, either. It's a really different way of life than what we're used to - living with the parents of 7 children is showing me how utterly self-absorbed I really am - but I love it. I love the activity in the house, I LOVE mealtimes, and I love helping to care for the little ones. I also feel like we're able to really love and serve Halle and Todd by being a part of their lives in this way, and I am glad to have that opportunity.
We've also had the chance to serve our neighbors this week. On Sunday night, our neighbor, Rick, killed himself. He left a (commonlaw) wife and three children behind. Their youngest son, who is six months old, has multiple disabilities. It was, obviously, a shock for everyone involved. I probably said a dozen times on Monday, "He was in our living room last night. I just talked to him yesterday." And I barely even knew the guy ... But even in the middle of such a senseless and tragic moment, I can see God working. Two nights before he died, Todd had the opportunity to share his testimony with Rick. Even the night that he died, Todd and his oldest son talked with Rick and his son (who is about the same age as Todd's oldest), and God came up several times. Last week about this time, Todd and I both started praying pretty intensely for this guy and his child who is sick ... Looking back, it seems clear to me that God really wanted to save him. I hope he made peace with God before he died ... his widow has turned to the Searcys for support this week. We have all helped take care of the children, and Todd has helped with funeral arrangements. He is going to be speaking at the funeral tomorrow. If you think of it, please pray for Nikki and Rick's family. Also, please pray for his oldest son. Because of custody issues, his future is uncertain.
In other news, we actually met with a pastor in Kansas City who is looking for a worship leader yesterday. I have no idea if that's where we'll end up or not, but yesterday went very well. They are a church plant (only two months old) that is funded by the same organization as New Life Church in Colorado Springs and the Church of the Highlands in Birmingham. Please pray for us about this. We really want to make a wise decision.
I think that's about all for week two ... I am going to look for jobs today. I'm looking at bookstores, coffee shops, and restaurants. Restaurants are my least favorite option, but you can make the most money in the fewest hours, so I'll probably start there. I'm actually looking forward to doing this type of work. I am glad to just BE for now - be here, be in prayer - just BE. Rest is so good.
Love,
ssg
It's my intention to write two posts today - an external update and a spiritual update. However, I'm at the library and there are time limits on computer use, so we'll see if I have time to do that or not. I'll do my best.
Kansas is COLD. It snowed yesterday. Today is clear and sunny and windy ... my favorite kind of winter day. I feel like we drove through fall on our way up here ... in Jackson, MS, the leaves were still green. In Memphis, they were changing; in St. Louis, we saw bright reds and oranges; by Kansas City, the trees were bare.
How did I get off on that? Back to week two ..
It's good. Honestly, I don't want to leave any time soon. While in Birmingham, we were always thinking about the future. But here, I can't see past Kansas City at all. I can't see past living with the Searcys, either. It's a really different way of life than what we're used to - living with the parents of 7 children is showing me how utterly self-absorbed I really am - but I love it. I love the activity in the house, I LOVE mealtimes, and I love helping to care for the little ones. I also feel like we're able to really love and serve Halle and Todd by being a part of their lives in this way, and I am glad to have that opportunity.
We've also had the chance to serve our neighbors this week. On Sunday night, our neighbor, Rick, killed himself. He left a (commonlaw) wife and three children behind. Their youngest son, who is six months old, has multiple disabilities. It was, obviously, a shock for everyone involved. I probably said a dozen times on Monday, "He was in our living room last night. I just talked to him yesterday." And I barely even knew the guy ... But even in the middle of such a senseless and tragic moment, I can see God working. Two nights before he died, Todd had the opportunity to share his testimony with Rick. Even the night that he died, Todd and his oldest son talked with Rick and his son (who is about the same age as Todd's oldest), and God came up several times. Last week about this time, Todd and I both started praying pretty intensely for this guy and his child who is sick ... Looking back, it seems clear to me that God really wanted to save him. I hope he made peace with God before he died ... his widow has turned to the Searcys for support this week. We have all helped take care of the children, and Todd has helped with funeral arrangements. He is going to be speaking at the funeral tomorrow. If you think of it, please pray for Nikki and Rick's family. Also, please pray for his oldest son. Because of custody issues, his future is uncertain.
In other news, we actually met with a pastor in Kansas City who is looking for a worship leader yesterday. I have no idea if that's where we'll end up or not, but yesterday went very well. They are a church plant (only two months old) that is funded by the same organization as New Life Church in Colorado Springs and the Church of the Highlands in Birmingham. Please pray for us about this. We really want to make a wise decision.
I think that's about all for week two ... I am going to look for jobs today. I'm looking at bookstores, coffee shops, and restaurants. Restaurants are my least favorite option, but you can make the most money in the fewest hours, so I'll probably start there. I'm actually looking forward to doing this type of work. I am glad to just BE for now - be here, be in prayer - just BE. Rest is so good.
Love,
ssg
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Home, from the Prayer Room
"It feels like coming home
For the first time in a long time
After a long and winding road
Through the dark and difficult.
This weary traveler
Has found a place to lay his head
In Your love."
(sung last night in the prayer room. If this is a published song, somebody let me know. Either way, it was so beautiful, lyrically and musically ...)
For the first time in a long time
After a long and winding road
Through the dark and difficult.
This weary traveler
Has found a place to lay his head
In Your love."
(sung last night in the prayer room. If this is a published song, somebody let me know. Either way, it was so beautiful, lyrically and musically ...)
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Week 1 in Kansas
is good.
We have a little studio apartment in the basement of the Searcys'. You wouldn't believe how much they have done to create a home for us. We have a bed, closet, shelf, TV/DVD player, sitting area, table for two, good lighting, a coffee pot, fresh flowers, and pictures on the walls ... if we had a bathroom and kitchen, we could be completely self-sufficient. What they're doing - opening their lives and their basement - is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for us. Seriously. Brian and I are making the transition to communal living pretty well, I think. It's really only quiet at night, and by then the adults are so tired that we all just kind of sit and stare at one another. Meals are very different but FUN. So far so good.
I've been to the prayer room (called the International House of Prayer, or IHOP) a few times now. People have been worshipping and praying in this place twenty four hours a day for six years. I'm still processing my experience of it. For now, I only have impressions to offer. First impressions: It isn't nearly as weird as I thought it would be. The worship team goes in two hour shifts, and the pray-ers come and go as they wish. We went yesterday about 5 am, and there were probably a hundred people there. There are 450 people "on staff", which is to say that they raise support and live as intercessory missionaries, spending their days in prayer. I have been overwhelmed a little by the spiritual experience of the prayer room. The presence of the Holy Spirit is evident, but it isn't scary or uncomfortable (as I'd imagined it to be). They have church-type services on Friday and Saturday nights, so I'm looking forward to seeing what that's like.
So far, we haven't been homesick for Alabama. Kansas City itself is unremarkable - big and industrial and flat. But not particularly crowded or particularly ugly, thankfully. We found a nice place to walk, and there's a park at the end of our neighborhood. And Taylor gets plenty of exercise playing with all of the kids.
Halle and I are going to have lunch on Friday. With so many children (and especially with the infant), Halle's time is precious, so I am excited about having a few hours with her.
So that's what I have to report. Our first impressions of the Kansas City Adventure have been good. When I have processed the experience of the prayer room a little more, I'm sure I'll have more to say about it.
Love to you all.
We have a little studio apartment in the basement of the Searcys'. You wouldn't believe how much they have done to create a home for us. We have a bed, closet, shelf, TV/DVD player, sitting area, table for two, good lighting, a coffee pot, fresh flowers, and pictures on the walls ... if we had a bathroom and kitchen, we could be completely self-sufficient. What they're doing - opening their lives and their basement - is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for us. Seriously. Brian and I are making the transition to communal living pretty well, I think. It's really only quiet at night, and by then the adults are so tired that we all just kind of sit and stare at one another. Meals are very different but FUN. So far so good.
I've been to the prayer room (called the International House of Prayer, or IHOP) a few times now. People have been worshipping and praying in this place twenty four hours a day for six years. I'm still processing my experience of it. For now, I only have impressions to offer. First impressions: It isn't nearly as weird as I thought it would be. The worship team goes in two hour shifts, and the pray-ers come and go as they wish. We went yesterday about 5 am, and there were probably a hundred people there. There are 450 people "on staff", which is to say that they raise support and live as intercessory missionaries, spending their days in prayer. I have been overwhelmed a little by the spiritual experience of the prayer room. The presence of the Holy Spirit is evident, but it isn't scary or uncomfortable (as I'd imagined it to be). They have church-type services on Friday and Saturday nights, so I'm looking forward to seeing what that's like.
So far, we haven't been homesick for Alabama. Kansas City itself is unremarkable - big and industrial and flat. But not particularly crowded or particularly ugly, thankfully. We found a nice place to walk, and there's a park at the end of our neighborhood. And Taylor gets plenty of exercise playing with all of the kids.
Halle and I are going to have lunch on Friday. With so many children (and especially with the infant), Halle's time is precious, so I am excited about having a few hours with her.
So that's what I have to report. Our first impressions of the Kansas City Adventure have been good. When I have processed the experience of the prayer room a little more, I'm sure I'll have more to say about it.
Love to you all.
Friday, November 04, 2005
quotes from Brennen Manning
"Authentic, evangelical faith cannot be separated from a readiness to act on the Word of God according to present opportunities. Whenever faith is accepted merely as a closed system of well-defined doctrines, we lose contact with the living God. The faith that saves is a surrender to God."
"Sincerity means trying to make the outward man more and more like the inner man by simply being true to ourselves, so that no human respect can make us false."
"In my own mind, the greatest need in the church today is to know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior ... But this knowledge is more than a casual acknowledgement that Jesus lived and died and rose again. It is the kind of knowledge that leaves us changed. It is an encounter with someone who alters the very course of our lives ... Many have a vague idea of Jesus as a 'good guy' who helped the poor and told people to love one another. They operate with a fuzzy, almost symbolic notion of Jesus as the symbol for a liberal's idea of goodness."
from The Importance of Being Foolish.
More to come ...
"Sincerity means trying to make the outward man more and more like the inner man by simply being true to ourselves, so that no human respect can make us false."
"In my own mind, the greatest need in the church today is to know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior ... But this knowledge is more than a casual acknowledgement that Jesus lived and died and rose again. It is the kind of knowledge that leaves us changed. It is an encounter with someone who alters the very course of our lives ... Many have a vague idea of Jesus as a 'good guy' who helped the poor and told people to love one another. They operate with a fuzzy, almost symbolic notion of Jesus as the symbol for a liberal's idea of goodness."
from The Importance of Being Foolish.
More to come ...
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Home, Part 3
The Lord appointed seventy two others and sent them ahead two by two ... "Go!" (He said.) "I am sending you out like lambs among wolves." - Luke 10: 1, 3
I long to see you so that I may impart some spiritual gift to make you strong - that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith. Romans 1:11
There is irony in the fact that the most isolated I have ever been in my life is the year I spent serving a church.
Church isn't isolating for everyone. I grew up in churches in Alabama; overall, it was a beautiful experience. There is a love for one another, seen in Wednesday night dinners and Bible School, to be sure, but also seen when family members die, or have surgery, or get married. And there is comfort in the consistency, in knowing without looking that Mr. Petty will be sitting in the left hand corner of the 8th pew, with a peppermint in his pocket that he'll give to the nearest small child during the sermon, and that Mrs. Johnston is not the soprano she thinks she is. Much of what I believe came from the efforts of ChurchInAlabama. I came to know Christ through ChurchInAlabama, and some of my closest friends I met in ChurchInAlabama. There are people I love who are serving ChurchInAlabama, and are doing so well. So please don't hear me putting down this institution, ChurchInAlabama. I'm not. Really, I'm not. There is real beauty and joy in these things, and most people can find their niche in a ChurchInAlabama, and enjoy their church while going on about the business of living life. The institution serves itself pretty well, and as long as you fit in, everything goes pretty smoothly.
It's when you don't fit that things can go awry.
I had breakfast recently with a girl who is looking for a church. In her apartment, alone one night this summer, God saved her. She wants so much now to be a part of a group of people who think about God, who love each other, and who will help her grow as a person. But she doesn't fit into the ChurchInAlabama. She has been turned away by her family and friends, and is afraid she will be turned away by the church, too. As she was talking, I tried to think about what churches would nurture her, or what friends I had in the area who might pray with her. I couldn't think of anything - not a single person in the area, not one place that she could go and be accepted. Nothing.
Why is she so isolated from the church? Why did I feel so isolated while we were serving a church? After a year of hitting a wall, not with nonbelievers but with the other leaders of our own little ChurchInAlabama, I'm feeling a little burned. I think my personal experience is also reflected in what is happening politically. The pastors of our old church thought we couldn't be in community because we were too different. They understood connection to mean sameness, and "community groups" were divided accordingly. In the culture of Christianity, too, there is an obsession with sameness. I think this is why so many people buy the products of Christian culture - Joel Olsteen and Rick Warren and the rest - without questioning the integrity of doing so. "Living the Christian life" for many means busying ourselves trying to think the same thoughts as other Christians, to be exactly in line on all points Biblical and political. I think there is an obsession with sameness because we have understood sameness to equal unity, and unity to equal truth. If we all agree, we must all be right.
My friend doesn't fit because truth and acceptance in our culture stand in opposition to one another. People won't love a person with whom they disagree politically and culturally. And this scares me. I'm afraid of how we show love to people we can't accept, but also how we disciple people if we have no sense of truth. It isn't Biblical, and it doesn't make for a very healthy church, locally or nationally.
We never fit in with the other religious people at our little ChurchInAlabama. Which is sad, because we really needed each other. This isn't a PC concept, it is God's honest truth. We need people who are different from us to do what we can't. It's how God intended for us to work together. He never intended us all to be the same. That's an American idea, not a Biblical one. We never fit in while we were there, but I'm still hopeful. I've been a part of communities before, groups of people who loved one another and had the same goal, even though we were really different from each other (and even though we didn't always like each other). I know that it is possible to be a part of that kind of group again. So I will keep looking for it. As a believer, a community is my truest sense of home while on earth.
I long to see you so that I may impart some spiritual gift to make you strong - that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith. Romans 1:11
There is irony in the fact that the most isolated I have ever been in my life is the year I spent serving a church.
Church isn't isolating for everyone. I grew up in churches in Alabama; overall, it was a beautiful experience. There is a love for one another, seen in Wednesday night dinners and Bible School, to be sure, but also seen when family members die, or have surgery, or get married. And there is comfort in the consistency, in knowing without looking that Mr. Petty will be sitting in the left hand corner of the 8th pew, with a peppermint in his pocket that he'll give to the nearest small child during the sermon, and that Mrs. Johnston is not the soprano she thinks she is. Much of what I believe came from the efforts of ChurchInAlabama. I came to know Christ through ChurchInAlabama, and some of my closest friends I met in ChurchInAlabama. There are people I love who are serving ChurchInAlabama, and are doing so well. So please don't hear me putting down this institution, ChurchInAlabama. I'm not. Really, I'm not. There is real beauty and joy in these things, and most people can find their niche in a ChurchInAlabama, and enjoy their church while going on about the business of living life. The institution serves itself pretty well, and as long as you fit in, everything goes pretty smoothly.
It's when you don't fit that things can go awry.
I had breakfast recently with a girl who is looking for a church. In her apartment, alone one night this summer, God saved her. She wants so much now to be a part of a group of people who think about God, who love each other, and who will help her grow as a person. But she doesn't fit into the ChurchInAlabama. She has been turned away by her family and friends, and is afraid she will be turned away by the church, too. As she was talking, I tried to think about what churches would nurture her, or what friends I had in the area who might pray with her. I couldn't think of anything - not a single person in the area, not one place that she could go and be accepted. Nothing.
Why is she so isolated from the church? Why did I feel so isolated while we were serving a church? After a year of hitting a wall, not with nonbelievers but with the other leaders of our own little ChurchInAlabama, I'm feeling a little burned. I think my personal experience is also reflected in what is happening politically. The pastors of our old church thought we couldn't be in community because we were too different. They understood connection to mean sameness, and "community groups" were divided accordingly. In the culture of Christianity, too, there is an obsession with sameness. I think this is why so many people buy the products of Christian culture - Joel Olsteen and Rick Warren and the rest - without questioning the integrity of doing so. "Living the Christian life" for many means busying ourselves trying to think the same thoughts as other Christians, to be exactly in line on all points Biblical and political. I think there is an obsession with sameness because we have understood sameness to equal unity, and unity to equal truth. If we all agree, we must all be right.
My friend doesn't fit because truth and acceptance in our culture stand in opposition to one another. People won't love a person with whom they disagree politically and culturally. And this scares me. I'm afraid of how we show love to people we can't accept, but also how we disciple people if we have no sense of truth. It isn't Biblical, and it doesn't make for a very healthy church, locally or nationally.
We never fit in with the other religious people at our little ChurchInAlabama. Which is sad, because we really needed each other. This isn't a PC concept, it is God's honest truth. We need people who are different from us to do what we can't. It's how God intended for us to work together. He never intended us all to be the same. That's an American idea, not a Biblical one. We never fit in while we were there, but I'm still hopeful. I've been a part of communities before, groups of people who loved one another and had the same goal, even though we were really different from each other (and even though we didn't always like each other). I know that it is possible to be a part of that kind of group again. So I will keep looking for it. As a believer, a community is my truest sense of home while on earth.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Why I Love A Collision
"it is the collision of the two, divinity and depravity, that meet in the number 7. i believe art aspires to this. when it happens it is a moment of the divine stepping into our human experience. it is our ascending. it is his descending. it is a collision of the earthly with the heavenly. " (taken from the David Crowder Band website)
If you haven't heard A Collision, by David Crowder Band, yet, look it up. www.davidcrowderband.com. I love it. Well, it's pretty weird, and I doubt I'll listen to it all the way through all the time, but it's the most artistically interesting music mainstream Christian culture has produced since Jars of Clay's self-titled CD, which has to be close to 15 years old by now. In the title, David Crowder is referring to the collision of humanity and divinity, which is - according to him - what happens in experiential worship. But it's also a collision of lives, of musical genres, of history with current events ... it's really interesting. So, seriously, even if you don't usually like Christian music, this is a really good album. My favorite song, in case you were wondering, is "A Beautiful Collision" (#7). I'll close with the opening lines of the song ...
Your heart breaking makes a sound
I never knew could be
so beautiful and loud,
fury-filled and weak
Collide...
If you haven't heard A Collision, by David Crowder Band, yet, look it up. www.davidcrowderband.com. I love it. Well, it's pretty weird, and I doubt I'll listen to it all the way through all the time, but it's the most artistically interesting music mainstream Christian culture has produced since Jars of Clay's self-titled CD, which has to be close to 15 years old by now. In the title, David Crowder is referring to the collision of humanity and divinity, which is - according to him - what happens in experiential worship. But it's also a collision of lives, of musical genres, of history with current events ... it's really interesting. So, seriously, even if you don't usually like Christian music, this is a really good album. My favorite song, in case you were wondering, is "A Beautiful Collision" (#7). I'll close with the opening lines of the song ...
Your heart breaking makes a sound
I never knew could be
so beautiful and loud,
fury-filled and weak
Collide...
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